Down, Oscar! Bad Dog!!

Well, it's all over and so's the shouting. Oscar Night 2011 ends with a whimper or two and not necessarily with any sort of bang at all.

Show-wise, it couldn't have been blander. The combination of James Franco and Anne Hathaway worked only in the commercials, not on the actual program. Anne seemed to be really out of her depth for the long haul and Franco, well, son, you've finally overextended yourself. all you had going for yourself was that smug grin on your mug that wore out its welcome before the first half-hour was up or about the time Kirk Douglas finally wrapped it up. In fact, he was grinning so much that he seemed to be channeling his stoner character from PINEAPPLE EXPRESS. The opening film was okay, but nothing we haven't seen before and, even "trimmed"(w/o those damn tributes...how dare they try to impose any kind of historical perspective!), the running time still crawled past the three hour mark. I wouldn't have called it worse than last year's bore-a-thon, but it sure seemed like amateur night or even a community theater award event (something I know a little about). But asses were kissed, not kicked like at the Golden Globes, though I really think Hollywood needs to be schooled by Ricky Gervais. Fortunately, there were a lack of Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber types (thank you, Lord!) but still had to endure even thirty seconds of the wretched mess known as Russell Brand. Please check out the trailer to his latest wreck, a remake of ARTHUR and tell me I'm wrong. Ick to Nth degree. In all, Hugh Jackman a couple of years back spoiled us. Time to return to a single host, one that's up to the task. Billy Crystal's passed his prime, but maybe they should be looking around for another version in the same mold.

I went 15 out of 25 for my picks, predictions and guesses, about 60% with no real issue with any of the results. Glad to see INCEPTION get some love along with the others, but I do think Roger Deakins' work on TRUE GRIT was snubbed. THE KING'S SPEECH might actually have deserved Best Picture. Don't know. Haven't seen it. I chose THE SOCIAL NETWORK. No surprises for the award winners and too bad 'cuz the show done needed it.

But worst Oscar show ever? Not hardly. I've been watching these babies since the Sixties and, even though it was pretty craptacular, it ain't the benchmark. It was probably the sloppiest and perhaps even the clunkiest in recent memory, but hey, I still ate it up with a big ol' spoon like I always do. Still, it has a kind of a stale taste to it, probably because of the barrage of award shows that precede it. The Academy Awards are the Super Bowl of these events and really need to treated as such by the producers. Otherwise, ABC, which has the broadcast rights until 2020, is going to regret its decision. Skewing to a younger demographic always gets you in trouble, especially when you aren't up to the task and the youth don't give a good damn to begin with.

Perhaps in the future, it would behoove the Academy to follow this edict:

IT'S THE MOVIES, STUPID!