Adulykem

The judgment is in on Justin Timberlake.

Adulykim.

No comprende? Please allow me to translate. If someone or thing earns my scorn, I waste no time and jump right to the verdict, compressed  for brevity's sake that is brief and to the point.

Adulykim: I don't like him.

Like Sup or Djeet, it's my shorthand if I don't like him, her, it or them.

Adulykim, adulyker, adulykit, adulykem.

I am, after all, an urban warrior.

As for JT, as I said, adulykim. Seems like everybody these days loves this lil' rascal except yours truly. As far as I'm concerned, he's a spineless slug of human being.

It's not that I consider him untalented. Quite the contrary. He's a very competent entertainer. The fact that I find his music to be crap, albeit well produced crap, is not the issue. (Though SEXYBACK by itself could be grounds for lethal injection.) He can sing, dance, produce and act as well as anyone currently in the industry. In fact, his portrayal of Napster founder and all around mold spore Sean Parker in THE SOCIAL NETWORK was almost too good. I say that because I don't think it was that much of a stretch, essentially playing himself. If the opportunity presented itself, I'd cast him as Joe "GIRLS GONE WILD" Francis for the same reason.

Call it the Eddie Haskell syndrome, another character Justy not only uncannily resembles but I believe is his muse. I can close my eyes and imagine him kissing up to Beaver's mom one minute("How do you do, Mrs. Cleaver? That's a lovely pearl necklace. Did Mr. Cleaver give that to you?") then giving Wally the business in the next. ("Hey, Sam, let's pants your little brother and throw him into Miller's Pond!") I fully admit that I am pre-disposed to dislike most curlytops in general, but again, that ain't it. Even though Timberlake sports a different look these days, he'll always be a curly-q. It's a personality trait more than a hair style.

But my real gripe with this knob began way back in the Janet Jackson Super Bowl halftime show. When she took the brunt of the blame for her infamous wardrobe malfunction, Justin Timberlake was nowhere to be found. It was as though he suddenly entered the witness protection program, leaving JJ to the wolves and not defending her in the least and in no way contrite. And remember, he pulled the cup off of her bare boob for all the world to see. I wonder who he paid off to dodge that bullet. JT became Johnny Fontaine and Janet got a one-way ticket to Palookaville. Yep, he remained unscathed throughout that whole FCC wet dream in such a gutless, unchivalrous manner that the name Justin Timberlake to me is synonymous with weasel in my book. That book's title? DOUCHES OF THE 21ST CENTURY.

Since that ill-fated Super Bowl incident, JT has become the public's darling, an SNL staple and gosh, just everybody's favorite consummate showstopper. While it delights me that his film career has stalled (IN TIME and RUNNER RUNNER were both DOA and he wants to be The Riddler is that doomed BATMAN vs SUPERMAN fiasco),it's not enough. Karma needs to kick his scrawny ass inside and out. Maybe if he goes down in flames, he can rise from the ashes a better man.

Until then, know this.

Adulykim.

While I'm trying to avoid obvious choices like anything Bieber, Kardashian and republican, here's a very short list of some other people and things adulyk either:

Daniel Tosh  
Russell Brand
Glee                
POTUS (the acronym and the holder of the office)                            
Veep (the holder of the office, not the HBO show)
Congress (what a stretch)
The Hunger Games
David Cross              
Bill Maher
Simon Cowell           
Toyota Prius
Washingtonian drivers (sorry, my Northern brothers and sisters, but your driving sucks)
People who insist backing their cars into parking spaces        
Kanye West               
Taylor Swift
YA                   
Fifty Shades of anything

And that's just the list for today.

Down, Oscar! Bad Dog!!

Well, it's all over and so's the shouting. Oscar Night 2011 ends with a whimper or two and not necessarily with any sort of bang at all.

Show-wise, it couldn't have been blander. The combination of James Franco and Anne Hathaway worked only in the commercials, not on the actual program. Anne seemed to be really out of her depth for the long haul and Franco, well, son, you've finally overextended yourself. all you had going for yourself was that smug grin on your mug that wore out its welcome before the first half-hour was up or about the time Kirk Douglas finally wrapped it up. In fact, he was grinning so much that he seemed to be channeling his stoner character from PINEAPPLE EXPRESS. The opening film was okay, but nothing we haven't seen before and, even "trimmed"(w/o those damn tributes...how dare they try to impose any kind of historical perspective!), the running time still crawled past the three hour mark. I wouldn't have called it worse than last year's bore-a-thon, but it sure seemed like amateur night or even a community theater award event (something I know a little about). But asses were kissed, not kicked like at the Golden Globes, though I really think Hollywood needs to be schooled by Ricky Gervais. Fortunately, there were a lack of Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber types (thank you, Lord!) but still had to endure even thirty seconds of the wretched mess known as Russell Brand. Please check out the trailer to his latest wreck, a remake of ARTHUR and tell me I'm wrong. Ick to Nth degree. In all, Hugh Jackman a couple of years back spoiled us. Time to return to a single host, one that's up to the task. Billy Crystal's passed his prime, but maybe they should be looking around for another version in the same mold.

I went 15 out of 25 for my picks, predictions and guesses, about 60% with no real issue with any of the results. Glad to see INCEPTION get some love along with the others, but I do think Roger Deakins' work on TRUE GRIT was snubbed. THE KING'S SPEECH might actually have deserved Best Picture. Don't know. Haven't seen it. I chose THE SOCIAL NETWORK. No surprises for the award winners and too bad 'cuz the show done needed it.

But worst Oscar show ever? Not hardly. I've been watching these babies since the Sixties and, even though it was pretty craptacular, it ain't the benchmark. It was probably the sloppiest and perhaps even the clunkiest in recent memory, but hey, I still ate it up with a big ol' spoon like I always do. Still, it has a kind of a stale taste to it, probably because of the barrage of award shows that precede it. The Academy Awards are the Super Bowl of these events and really need to treated as such by the producers. Otherwise, ABC, which has the broadcast rights until 2020, is going to regret its decision. Skewing to a younger demographic always gets you in trouble, especially when you aren't up to the task and the youth don't give a good damn to begin with.

Perhaps in the future, it would behoove the Academy to follow this edict:

IT'S THE MOVIES, STUPID!

And the Oscar Goes to...

Because I don't give two hoots in hell for any sporting event, I have always claimed that the Academy Awards show is my Super Bowl. As such, I always have an opinion, one way or another, about who' is going to win what and why. This year is no exception, therefore here are my picks, predictions, educated guesses and eeny-meeny-miney-moes.

Picture: THE SOCIAL NETWORK

This would get my vote over the other nine nominees for sheer merit above anything else, a rather stupid statement since that should be the purpose of any award. But then again, we're talking about the Oscars, aren't we? Network's main competition is The King's Speech, said to be the feel-good movie that Oscar voters just freakin' love. (I have yet to see it at this writing) I'm going with the early favorite and because, as I said in my last post, it IS that damn good.
Actor: Colin Firth

No brainer. The only lock of the night. If Firth won last year, I would pick Jeff Bridges this time.

Who's on Firth? I don't know. He's on third and I don't give a damn.
Actress: Natalie Portman

This still might go to Annette Bening for actually being likable on screen for the first time since The Grifters, but Nat's won everything so far so she gets it for Black Swan's only prize.
Supporting Actor: Christian Bale

Probably a lock also. Maybe Bale's been forgiven for his YouTube rant n' rave a couple of years back. If not, it's Geoffrey Rush.
Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo

She's gotten a lot of flak for campaigning for herself in the trade papers (since when is this a crime against Hollywood nature?) but I think she's got it, a one-two punch for The Fighter w/Bale.
Director: David Fincher

Social Network, baby. One of four award wins.
Original Screenplay: David Seidler (The King's Speech)

Probably deservedly so. just for pure tenacity of the screenwriter who worked on this project for literally decades.

Adapted Screenplay: Aaron Sorkin (Social Network)

Another lock, this time for the best screenplay since another Network back in the 1970s. Hope Sorkin's high on 'shrooms Sunday too. makes for a better acceptance speech.

Foreign Film: BIUTIFUL

This is the consolation prize for Javier Bardem's nomination for the same film.

Documentary: EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP

If you know who Banksy is by this film or just his reputation, again, another potentially amusing acceptance.

Animated Feature: TOY STORY 3

Duh. How many will this make for Pixar?

Cinematography: Roger Deakins (True Grit)

Best in the biz.

Original Score: Hans Zimmer (Inception)

Ditto.

And the rest:

Film Editing: THE SOCIAL NETWORK

Visual Effects, Sound Editing, Sound Mixing: INCEPTION

Art Direction, Costume Design: ALICE IN WONDERLAND

Song: TOY STORY 3

Makeup: THE WOLFMAN

Doc Short: POSTER GIRL

Animated Short: DAY 7 NIGHT (Pixar again)

Live Action Short:NA WEWE

So am I right or am I wrong? We shall see come Sunday night...or hell or high water, whatever that means.

Let the betting begin!