Croak and Dagger: A Frog Blog

Where the hell have I been ?

As of late, my on-line presence has diminished to a few paltry, however pithy posting on Facebook while this blog has dried up quicker than a California water bed (a reference both timely and outdated).

The truth of the matter is I've been spending some quality time with my new frog friend. No, I didn't get a new pet and I'm not having an acid flashback. I don't think. Wait. No. I'm fine.
A few postings back I announced that my play SONG OF THE LONE PRAIRIE ( re-named SONG OF THE CANYON KID to coincide with the new book) is being produced this summer at The Great American Melodrama and Vaudeville in Oceano, California.One of the sweetest things about this is that they contacted me. I didn't solicit them.

After receiving that swell news, I took the bulls by the bouillon and sent out this script along with LA RUE'S RETURN (which I co-wrote with Ed Thorpe) to some other theaters specializing in melodrama across the country. Even though most of them picked their 2014 seasons already, I jumped the gun and submitted them for 2015. Currently these two works o' mine (and Ed's of course) are being considered at theater companies in Colorado, California, Texas and even here in Oregon for next year. I guess my query skills have improved since I got a lot of bites when I cast my line in these waters.

One establishment I contacted was actually named Mel O'Drama Theater located in Nashville and son of a gun if I didn't get a bite. Melanie Roady, the owner/operator/namesake of M O'D had particular interest in LA RUE, but after reading it decided it didn't fit her particular format. You see, her group specializes in interactive murder mysteries, something I would have known if I had only read the website instead of taking the name at face value. What do you want from me? If I go to Barney's Beanery, I expect to see beans on the menu, not cupcakes.

However, Mel had a proposition for me. Would I like to try my hand at one of her shows based on her outline? Oh and by the way, the main character is a frog who solves the crime.

"Why sure," I agreed. "Wait a hippity-hoppity second here...a frog? A frog frog? Is this a Muppet murder mystery? Oh, a frog man. Like a scuba diver. Nooo...a man with frog-like characteristics. Okayyyyy...."

Francois is a character created in a series of paintings by artist Jann Harrison who also resides in Nashville. Jann has conceived a whole mythology that go along with each piece she's painted. So Francois is a suave, debonair bon vivant who is, to use her words, "a man in transition".
 http://www.jannharrison.com/

I agreed to pen a script but I was under a very tight deadline and the challenge itself proving rather daunting. Murder mysteries are not my first love and red herrings do not sit well in my tummy tum tum. Then to transform this man-frog, frog-man, lily pad lover to the stage and make him palatable as a main character was just icing on the fish cake.

What prompted me to continue was that the story was set in New Orleans, the same setting for LA RUE.which is what interested the producer in the first place. I'm crazy in love with the culture an lore of  N'Awlins and had the good fortune of just finishing up the finale episodes of TREME and the current season of AMERICAN HORROR STORY (which unfortunately ended very weakly). So I added Mardi Gras to the storyline as well as a touch of voodoo here and some Cajun spice there.
After two and a half weeks of banging my head against the wall trying to figure out the intricacies of who killed who and with what and how , I turned in a script with two possible endings (different killers for different nights). Challenge accepted, challenge met. Now it's time for some fine tuning.

What I didn't realize is that the show has already been pre-booked. Mel Roady got shows lined up for this froggy lil' epic beginning APRIL 12! And there's my name, prominently in the credits.

Such is the power of networking. I scored another gig. 2014 will see two separate productions on either side of the United States written by (ahem) Scott Cherney.

And I'm hungry for more

UPDATE: THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS has been re-named DEAD TUESDAY,  thanks to Jerri Wiseman of the StageCoach Theatre Company

DEAD TUESDAY is available at SCOTT CHERNEY'S STORE or to read a free excerpt go to my website WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY

Performance rights are available. For info, write to me : writtenbysc@gmail.com

Tell 'em Francois sent ya.

The Fall Guy

This has been a spectacular fall here in the Pacific Northwest. I'm going to nominate it for Best Season of 2013.
Then again, I'm a real sucker for this time of year anyway and not just because I'm in the autumn of my life.

(Quit looking at my hair. It was an early snow. Shut up.)

Now we are about to be immersed into the dreaded holiday season, a time that conjures up the End of Days in our already chaotic lives.                 

Ain't that a shame? What used to known as the most wonderful time of the year is now another trigger for gloom and doom, no thanks to you, Andy Williams. And if anyone starts harping about the hijacking of Christmas or reminds who is the reason for the season is going to get a lit yule log crammed up their tannenbaums.

Here are a few high and low lights from the past few months:

Portland Art Museum's current show, Samurai!, is pretty damn spectacular, featuring armor and artifacts from 14th-19th century Japan. What seems like a historical exhibit, almost out of place in an art museum is put into perfect context under inspection of these incredibly intricate, ornate items. The show runs until January 12.

Subway is promoting the new HUNGER GAMES movie. And I am opening a HomeTown Buffet on Donner Pass.

After a depressing TV summer season (THE KILLING, THE BRIDGE, BROADCHURCH), the fall line-up has lightened up a bit, if you want to call THE WALKING DEAD light. James Spader is killing it on THE BLACKLIST. a potentially decent NBC offering that is hampered by contrivances and the worst CGI on TV. AMERICAN HORROR STORY is back in top form after last season's obnoxious everything including the kitchen sink ASYLUM. This year's story, COVEN, is a kick in the royal ass especially with the addition of Kathy Bates and Angela Basset joining the ace in the hole Jessica Lange. Jeffrey Wright is deliciously wicked in this year's BOARDWALK EMPIRE with Shea Wigham really breaking out as Eli Thompson. It's sad to see actresses the caliber of Margo Martindale and Allison Janney slumming on two separate CBS stink-coms. Martindale is reduced to awful menopausal gags on THE MILLERS while Janney is quite the slut on MOM. Though I must admit, a slutty Allison Janney is pretty damn hot.

But the big TV news for me and pretty much the rest of the geek universe is, well, feast your peepers on this, kiddies:

Get your fish fingers and custard ready.

2011: All God's Chillun Go to Hebbin

Gosh, an honest-to-blog year-end wrap-up complete with Top Ten lists and everything...

Let's not and say we did.

The truth of the matter is that I'm not really feeling reflective at the moment, odd given the time of year. I suppose my lack of interest in this matter is given to the fact that I engage in this on a daily basis and frankly, I need a bit of a break and so do the rest of you. Can't we just forward with out looking back for a change? I'm not saying "Let's ignore history!" and embrace the ephemeral like the rest of society. No, I'm not conforming to the status quo. I'm just a little sick and tired of instant nostalgia. I want to earn my memories, not cater to them. As for those that I have, I'll wear them like badges of honor, leaving for more as times goes by because it ain't over 'til I sez it's over.

As for what I consider the Best of 2011, I feel ambivalent even mentioning them since it's just more of the same. I can say that the best movie I saw in theaters this year was Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris, but the ambiance and my frame of mind had just about everything to do with that choice. I saw it in Brooklyn (Woody's hometown) and I was on one of the best vacations of my entire life. The Book of Mormon was the best live theater event for me this year but once again, I saw it on Broadway and it was the only show I attended this year. (It's still superb, by the way) Do you need to know that I believe Breaking Bad had to be, hands down, the finest TV show of the year and one of the greatest entire seasons in broadcast history, every single episode a knockout? Well, now you do. I also echo just about the entire critical conclave when I say that TV outdid movies AGAIN this year, especially with shows like Treme, Justified, Louie, American Horror Story and Game of Thrones. Music-wise, I stand by my own assessment and choose as my favorite song Dig a Little Deeper from Moonshine Willy's 1998 album Bastard Child and if I hear Adele's Rolling in the Deep one more time, I am going to totally lose my shit. At my age, that's no idle threat. Book-wise, I'll gladly mention Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay and hey, an actual title from 2011- Laura Hillebrand's brutally brilliant World War II survival non-fiction work, Unbroken. (Okay. I cheated. I didn't list a Top Ten, just some highlights. I guess I just couldn't resist. Old habits die hard.)

I will look back on 2011 fondly and with gritted teeth. The hardships have increased but it really does make the blessings that much sweeter. And no blessing was greater than the new girl in my life, my incredibly beautiful granddaughter Aefa, born May 31, 2011. It is because of Aefa and what she represents that I will greet 2012 with arms wide open. And that something is hope and with that, I can endure.

To you and yours out there, I wish the same. If you've never had it, find it. If you lost it, reclaim it. Hope will makes us stronger. Hope will allow us to move on. Hope will help us survive. It beats the holy hell out of surrendering.

As always, be good to each other and please be good to yourselves. You deserve it. We all do.

Happy New Year, gang. See you on the other side

Odsen Enz

Is there anything more annoying than the nasaly whine of a Kardashian? Holy Underwear, they all sound that way...Kim, Courtney, Cloverfield...each one indistinguishable from the other. It's like someone drilling into my soul by way of my ear canal. It's such a shame they can't be a force for good.
Maybe they license their voices for smoke alarms. Their squawks would clear a building safely and save lives. Better yet, their name alone should be forever synonymous with an excruciating, irritating screech. "The neighbor's cat's in heat again. Kept me all night. Goddamn, that's kardashian!"
Aside to Kris Humphries: In the words of Lenny Bruce, "You betta off!"

These sexual harassment allegations against Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain sure seem to be increasing. My, isn't the timing impeccable. I haven't seen this much muck being raked so early on since 1992 and we all know how that turned out, don't we?


There's no segue for this so I'm just going to plow ahead:

The new paperback version of my movie memoir, IN THE DARK: A LIFE AND TIMES IN A MOVIE THEATER (SPECIAL EDITION) is now on sale at my page on Lulu.com:

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/scottcherney

(What makes it special? Sea salt.)
I've also got a new page on Facebook:

Written by Scott Cherney
Come on by and like me. (Damn, I'm needy)
The Facebook page is the same name as my website found at http://www.scottcherney.com/ . Yes, I am an original muh-fuh, that's for sure. The latter has some new content including an unpublished short story entitled THE FUTURE MRS. WILEY, a wry love story told in the manner of Damon Runyon by way of Larry Flynt. Just in time for the holidays.

Enough with the plugs already. Nothing, I mean NOTHING was any better this year than the fourth season of BREAKING BAD, so good than just about everything pales in comparison and what has followed just isn't measuring up. THE WALKING DEAD's follow-up season has been deathly slow, as if wading in on its accolades from last year. It's just not good enough to coast like this and hasn't delivered on the promise of its excellent pilot episode. The characters are too one-note and the pacing slower than snot on a winter's day. BOARDWALK EMPIRE has at least capitalized on its success with more gripping gangster history from the Roaring Twenties. Then there's AMERICAN HORROR STORY on FX, a wonderfully twisted and downright scary series that fills the gap THE WALKING DEAD is vacating. Ryan Murphy has rebooted the ghost story for a new era, recalling his sensational NIP/TUCK and washing the glucose ridden GLEE out of my sub-conscious. And I am officially nominating Jessica Lange for an early Best Supporting Actress Emmy. What a nasty-ass villainess! Talk about a career revival.

FX's series specialize in these superbly dark turns by forgotten or over looked actors: Margo Martindale in JUSTIFIED, Ted Danson in DAMAGES, Ron Perlman and Katey Sagal in SONS OF ANARCHY.

Until next time, Carp Diem! (Seize the Fish?)