Partners in Crying

On an old episode of THE MONKEES, the boys were discussing the sensitivity of their fellow band mate Peter Tork when one of them declares,

"He cries at card tricks."

That's me all over these days, a living testament to the belief that men cry more as they get older. I own it. If there's anything that involves my grandkids, I'll blubber openly and be proud of it. The world can be a sad place, especially lately and my empathy will work overtime in reaction to horrible tragedy in the world. But it can also be therapeutic. I am not immune to its healing abilities even it involves welling up my tear ducts and letting the waterworks flow. I have found that my reactions as of late have become increasingly unpredictable.

Music is always a trigger. If Johnny Cash's rendition of "Hurt" plays, I'm an instant wreck especially with the lyric:
What I become, my sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away in the end
The video for "Hurt" cuts to June Carter on "my sweetest friend" and my mind immediately goes to her passing just before Johnny's. He died four months later.

James Taylor's "Fire and Rain" conjures immediate images of 9/11 since I saw him play this at a benefit for First Responders following the tragedy.

There's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the grounds.

I'm weeping as I type those words right now.

And something as innocuous as Rod Stewart's "Forever Young" or Donna Lewis' "I Love You Always Forever" hits me on a personal level, choking me up once again. Recently, little ditties like "Home" by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros or Moonshine Willie's "Dig a Little Deeper", both of which remind me of the love of my life who is my wife who sometimes tells not to "get all weepy".

I like to think I'm above cheap sentimentality, but I guess I'm not. I hate obvious pulls at the heartstrings and I have a tendency to pull back. When something as well done as the recent WONDER movie comes along, I'll go all in willingly. Sometimes the power of joy moves me and seeing THE BOOK OF MORMON, not a tear jerker in the least, hit the "Wah!" button. That could have been the culmination of the whole experience since it was my first Broadway show in that magical New York summer. Hey, this summer, I even got a little misty eyed at this.

Olympian weightlifter Ryan Crouser's tribute to his grandpa 

What do you want from me? I'm a grandpa. It's in my contract.

I've always been sensitive, but as time rolls on, it's been rising to the surface on almost a daily basis. But I accept this and sometimes embrace it.

I'm not made of stone. I am not a rock. I am not an island.

Just don't mistake my weepiness for weakness.

Now pass the Kleenex or I'll slap the snot outta ya.

2011: All God's Chillun Go to Hebbin

Gosh, an honest-to-blog year-end wrap-up complete with Top Ten lists and everything...

Let's not and say we did.

The truth of the matter is that I'm not really feeling reflective at the moment, odd given the time of year. I suppose my lack of interest in this matter is given to the fact that I engage in this on a daily basis and frankly, I need a bit of a break and so do the rest of you. Can't we just forward with out looking back for a change? I'm not saying "Let's ignore history!" and embrace the ephemeral like the rest of society. No, I'm not conforming to the status quo. I'm just a little sick and tired of instant nostalgia. I want to earn my memories, not cater to them. As for those that I have, I'll wear them like badges of honor, leaving for more as times goes by because it ain't over 'til I sez it's over.

As for what I consider the Best of 2011, I feel ambivalent even mentioning them since it's just more of the same. I can say that the best movie I saw in theaters this year was Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris, but the ambiance and my frame of mind had just about everything to do with that choice. I saw it in Brooklyn (Woody's hometown) and I was on one of the best vacations of my entire life. The Book of Mormon was the best live theater event for me this year but once again, I saw it on Broadway and it was the only show I attended this year. (It's still superb, by the way) Do you need to know that I believe Breaking Bad had to be, hands down, the finest TV show of the year and one of the greatest entire seasons in broadcast history, every single episode a knockout? Well, now you do. I also echo just about the entire critical conclave when I say that TV outdid movies AGAIN this year, especially with shows like Treme, Justified, Louie, American Horror Story and Game of Thrones. Music-wise, I stand by my own assessment and choose as my favorite song Dig a Little Deeper from Moonshine Willy's 1998 album Bastard Child and if I hear Adele's Rolling in the Deep one more time, I am going to totally lose my shit. At my age, that's no idle threat. Book-wise, I'll gladly mention Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay and hey, an actual title from 2011- Laura Hillebrand's brutally brilliant World War II survival non-fiction work, Unbroken. (Okay. I cheated. I didn't list a Top Ten, just some highlights. I guess I just couldn't resist. Old habits die hard.)

I will look back on 2011 fondly and with gritted teeth. The hardships have increased but it really does make the blessings that much sweeter. And no blessing was greater than the new girl in my life, my incredibly beautiful granddaughter Aefa, born May 31, 2011. It is because of Aefa and what she represents that I will greet 2012 with arms wide open. And that something is hope and with that, I can endure.

To you and yours out there, I wish the same. If you've never had it, find it. If you lost it, reclaim it. Hope will makes us stronger. Hope will allow us to move on. Hope will help us survive. It beats the holy hell out of surrendering.

As always, be good to each other and please be good to yourselves. You deserve it. We all do.

Happy New Year, gang. See you on the other side

Dig A Little Deeper

So here I am at the beginning of August and I didn’t have a summer anthem for this year. like I always do. This has been one of those half-assed traditions of mine that I’ve kept to myself for so long that it has ceased to be an amusing eccentricity and is now just a nervous tic. Eh. Keeps me off the meth. These songs of summer underscore the spirit of that particular year and serve as kind of a mental bookmark, a sense memory if you will. These tunes have run the gamut from Mungo Jerry to Loverboy to Nick Cave to Billy Joel to Kings of Leon right up to Katy Perry. What can I say? I have eclectic tastes.

This year it’s been a bit of a struggle.

I haven’t been able to embrace Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep” like the rest of the free world apparently has if you’re to believe the playlist of every radio station on the dial. Talk about Hot Rotation. This thing hasn’t just been played to death. It’s become some sort of zombie siren. I don’t think it’s a bad song. It just feels manufactured for focus groups and demographics, an assembly line power ballad that comes off rather soulless. But hey, this is from a guy who just name-checked Loverboy.

However, there’s no reason Song of Summer 2011 has to be from this year. As the saying goes, if you haven’t heard it before, it’s new to you.

Recently I scored a copy of Moonshine Willy’s 1998 release of Bastard Child. If you’re not familiar with the Willy (at least this one), they were an alt-country band out of Chicago back in the Naughty Nineties. Don’t let the handle “alt-country” throw you, even though it does sound like some sort of too-hip-for-the-room musical category from those most ironic of times before Y2K. The Moonshiners combined elements like bluegrass, rockabilly and even a little folk with 1990s sensibilities into a well-balanced fusion that respected the old while embracing the new.

With full disclosure since I don’t want to sully my reputation as a blogger (we do have strong moral fiber, don’tcha know), I should note that my initial interest in anything by Moonshine Willy is due to the fact that the lead singer/songwriter is Kim Luke (formerly Docter as she’s credited on the album) Kim is a friend and former partner in crime at our days back at the Palace Showboat Theater at Pollardville. Kim appeared in a show I directed called Lights! Camera! Action! and also served as my choreographer on another, California Follies. Knowing her may have prompted me  to purchase Bastard Child in the first place, but the quality of the music is what prompted me to write this piece. Besides it took me 13 years to finally hear this dang thing. I may be late to the party, but at least I showed up.

Bastard Child opens with the delightfully snarky ditty “Burn in Hell” and closes with a rollicking and hilariously countryfied cover of Human League’s “Don’t You Want Me”. Sandwiched in between is probably the sweetest tune I’ve come across in a month of Sundays (which is what…7 months?). “Dig a Little Deeper” is such a lovely little love song about a couple not realizing that they’re on the same wavelength in their feelings for one another. It begs the question: “How long can one heart ache before two hearts break?” But Kim’s message in the chorus to these two is clear and concise:

Dig a little deeper
And find what brought you here
Dig a little deeper
And find out what holds you near
The love you sought for all your life is
Staring back at you
And all you have to do is
Dig a little deeper.

Dear Abby couldn’t have said it better herself. I choke up every single time I hear that last line. I particularly love that ever-so-brief hesitation she makes before she sings “Staring back at you”.

I’m crazy about this song and that’s why “Dig a Little Deeper’ is this year’s model for my Song of Summer. I found it on Amazon. So can you as well as the rest of Moonshine Willy’s catalog. This one tight-ass band playing in a genre I don’t normally embrace. I guess the sauce they put on their cornpone made it more palatable for me.

I’m really proud to have known so many talented folk intimately in my life. Kindred spirits that find each other in the world is really a blessing and helps us along the way down this freeway under construction known as Life. Therefore it gives great pleasure to trumpet the achievements of my friends, colleagues, peers and pals o’mine. It’s high time I gave Kim her due. Singer, actress, writer, Roller Derby Queen and so much more, Kim Docter Luke really is a Renaissance Woman and I am privileged to have made her acquaintance.
Here ya go, kid. This one’s for you.

SA-LUTE!