It's been a long time since I've seen a film in an actual cinema. The last movie I attended was 1917 (or was the last movie I attended in 1917?). That's when I first saw the trailer for the latest James Bond entry NO TIME TO DIE, which was due in April of 2020. Being a lifelong Bond aficionado, I promised myself it would be my next movie in a theater, having done so with each movie in the series with the exception of TOMORROW NEVER DIES, a blotch on my otherwise perfect record. Since this was also to be Daniel Crag's swan song as 007, there was no doubt in my mind I would be watching the antics of Ian Fleming's creation gallivanting across the big screen for my enjoyment. Then COVID struck and screwed the pooch for everyone around the world including the movie industry as the release of NO TIME TO DIE, along with a flock of film seagulls, was pushed back to Fall. Then Winter. Then 2021, but when?
In the meantime the industry started premiering major releases straight to streaming, screwing theaters everywhere who had hoped to return one fine day. MGM was purchased by MGM and suddenly, it looked as though James Bond's latest adventure would debut on Prime. Taking in consideration the enormous budget behind NO TIME TO DIE (or NTTD for brevity's sake), it finally debuted in October and I was back in business again, ready, willing and able to step into a movie theater once again, sort of.
What with that nasty pandemic, sitting in an audience with actual people didn't seem that inviting and wearing a mask the entire time? Yeesh. But I thought I'd take the gamble anyway. Then real life (double yeesh) kept interfering since it became difficult to block out three frickin' hours (the long-ass running time of NTTD) for a movie excursion. This was something I wanted to do for myself so I pressed the issue and voila! Success! By this point, however, NTTD had already become available on pay-per-view and the only showtime open in my area was a matinee. So that's what I done did.
Never mind all this crap. What about the goddamn movie?
Quite frankly, I'm kind of conflicted. While maintaining several elements from various films in the series, especially ON HER MAJETY'S SECRET SERVICE, this new movie in unlike any in the series, almost a re-invention in and of itself. While it isn't as subversive as director Danny Boyle's rumored take on the character that caused his departure, there is enough in this version by Cary Fukunaga, the first helmer to have a screenplay credit on a Bond film, to almost change the game. But it does come with a price, that being a mixed bag to be sure. While the highs outweigh the lows, too many cooks in the 007 kitchen made it a rather confusing meal.
The pre-title sequence set the tone for the whole film, unlike SPECTRE, the previous entry which the opening was better than the entire movie. The time around, the opening contains a lengthy flashback without Bond combined with a spectacular action sequence that makes it a direct sequel to the movie that preceded it, a real attempt to create a viable canon which barely existed in the pre-Craig years. Follow this with actual opening credits (how often do you see those anymore?) with a fairly adequate, though yet another somber theme song, this time by Billie Eilish and we're off to the races for next two and a half more hours (what is this-on Netflix or something?) Five years later, Bond is brought back to service, this time by mainstay CIA agent Felix Leiter, the always welcome Jeffrey Wright. Plot-wise, it's all over the map with SPECTRE returning, Bond at odds with M and M-I6 in general (the rascal) and a new villain plotting the end o' the world via nanobots and bio-warfare. The bad guy here is damn near secondary and underplayed rather frustratingly by Rami Malek, much the way Christoph Waltz did with Blofeld on the last pic. Waltz seemed to have embraced his role a little better this around, making Malek appear almost somnabulant. How about dialing down the near incoherent accent and beef up some personality there, Ram? I'm also not so keen on Lashana Lynch's inclusion as the most publicized new 007. I preferred Ana de Armas' asskicker, though actually would have chosen Naomie Harris' Moneypenny taking on the license to kill. (See SKYFALL) Quibbles aside, NTTD engaged me, juggling what we expect in a Bond film (action o'plenty), nostalgia here, there and everywhere and unexpected attempts to humanize the iconic character resulting in actual (and spoiler-free) touching moments that, by its end, put a definite punctuative mark to end the Daniel Craig era.
I stayed in my seat through the end credits (A glutton for punishment? Present!) mainly to get to the final four words: JAMES BOND WILL RETURN. The question is, will I? As good as NTTD had been (a tie for third in the Craig series with QUANTUM OF SOLACE behind SKYFALL and CASINO ROYALE), the ending hit home in a way I didn't expect mainly because that's what it felt like to me. The End. For almost 60 years of my life, James Bond has been part of my life as one of my cinematic heroes and now, for intents and purposes, the curtain has fallen. Another Bond is inevitable, probably yet another re-imagining to placate whatever is considered acceptable in society, a constantly revolving carousel that only makes everyone dizzy. My curiosity will be piqued enough to watch, but the old kiss kiss bang bang is now irrelevant and I'm afraid that so am I. While I'm not about to ignore the passage of time, a major theme in NTTD, coincidentally enough, I don't know if I can lose myself in that world again, maybe because I've finally moved along, albeit reluctantly. This may be goodbye, James, since it looks like we really don't have all the time in the world.
However, Mr. Bond, I will remain forever eternally grateful for all that you gave this lifelong fan each time I entered a darkened cinema for another one of your exploits. There I could forget the rest of the world as I willingly immersed myself in yours, filled with excitement, adventure and derring-do, emerging back into reality reinforced by the spectacular journey you've taken me on.
Geeks are a whiney lot. They are notoriously difficult to please and obsess over every nuance, gesture and detail in search of any hint of discrepancy that will alter or dishonor the object of their passion. I count myself among them even though, like Groucho Marx, I would never belong to a club that would have someone like me as a member. As a lifelong 007 geek when that word meant someone who bit the heads off of chickens in the carnival, you have just entered my wheelhouse.
So get the cheese ready. I'm about to pour the whine.
SPECTRE is such an appropriate title for the latest James Bond film, but for many of the wrong reasons. Its predecessor, the game-changing SKYFALL, set the bar so high that it could be the specter looming over its follow-up, the quintessential hard act to follow and the pressure on the Bond crew to outdo it has had some unfortunate effects this go around. I'm not about to write SPECTRE off as a disappointment because there is so much it gets right. But with that, so much does not.
From the git, expectations were through the roof, especially with the brilliant pre-title sequence set at a Day of the Dead celebration in Mexico. The opening shot, an extended sequence taking a page of the BIRDMAN (or TOUCH OF EVIL, if you'd rather) playbook, begins with a parade until the camera picks up Bond and a babe strolling down the street, into a hotel and finishes with 007 on the rooftop as if on his way to work. It ends with Bond and bad guys duking it out in an out of control helicopter over the heads of parade revelers below. A really sensational sequence that quite frankly steals the whole movie, I felt relieved and ready to settle in for the ride..
The opening titles, in and of themselves a rarity these days for some inexplicable reason, unfortunately give this Aston Martin some engine trouble. The song, a sad sorry number by Sam Smith that I have previously complained about in a previous post (LICENCE TO TRILL) is bad enough, but Maurice Binder successor Danny Kleinmann's visuals are positively...or negatively, rather, creepy. Danny Craig's oiled up naked torso groped by adoring females and the homage to tentacle porn put me off more than Pierce Brosnan's torture in the opening credits of DIE ANOTHER DAY.
This sums up the entire experience for me, a series of extreme highs and lows that by the end left me more troubled than truly satisfied because frankly, I admit to have been spoiled by the previous outing and expected something more cohesive considering the talent involved. However, I am aware that the producers of the Bond franchise often shoot themselves in the foot more often than not so I lay many of the film's shortcomings at their feet. Sam Mendes pulled off the impossible with SKYFALL,
a recognizable directorial vision. This time around, there seemed to be so much emphasis on trying to make lightning strike twice that it appears forced, awkward and something a Bond film never has been, clunky.
A few other elements rankled me as well all within the confines of a car chase scene through Rome. While maneuvering his Q tricked out sports car through the city streets and back alleys with a deadly assassin hot on his trail, Bond insipidly calls Moneypenny mid-way for some casual banter and unnecessary plot exposition, taking the piss completely out of it and transforming into excess without success. Toss in a couple of bad gags leftover from the Roger Moore era and the movie not only takes a step backwards, but falls sharply on its ass in the process.
On the other hand, the cast is near-flawless with some of the new faces introduced in the SKYFALL shining brightly. Ralph Fiennes' M continues to impress and when Ben Whishaw as Q is given more to do, the movie is better off for it. Dave Bautista's silent killer works his pro wrestling experience (the first of that profession since Peter Maiva-Dwayne Johnson's grandpa-in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE) into an excellent train fight scene. Christoph Waltz underplays his main villain role to fine effect, though some of the quirky nuance he brings to Tarantino characters would have been welcome to help feed the initial delight of his casting in the first place. The two big reveals of his character, a combination of Benedict Cumberbatch in STAR TREK IN DARKNESS and AUSTIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER, became something the filmmakers should have avoided like the Black Plague. Monica Bellucci was a welcome addition who fortunately lived to see the end credits. And Lea Seydoux overcame her poorly written character as Bond's main squeeze with great finesse, not an easy task for such an ill-conceived character. Much has been made of the Bellucci's age as a Bond girl, which is noteworthy on the surface until Bond runs off with Seydoux, nearly half his age, at film's end.
Daniel Craig, the James Bond for this generation has been reportedly and understandably burned by the making of SPECTRE, but it doesn't show on the screen. He's certainly looser here than he ever has been, even allowing himself a sense of humor (blissfully pun-free). Physically, this film has certainly taken its toll upon him and since he's invested in the entire enterprise, Craig receives a co-producer credit, a first for any actor in the role. Despite his misgivings of one more time at the helm, I wouldn't be surprised to see him in Bond 25, but given his personality, I'm sure he'll wearing his cranky pants again.
So glad to hear a Thomas Newman musical score again (not entirely sure he worked in an instrumental of that awful title song) and while cinematographer Roger Deakins couldn't come to the party this time, Hoyte Van Hoytema, who shot HER and LET THE RIGHT ONE IN, fill his shoes superbly. While I've kvetched enough about the story, there are superb individual lines and exchanges strewn within such as:
"Why did you come?"
"I came here to kill you."
"And I thought you came here to die."
"Well, it's all a matter of perspective."
The attempt to reboot the criminal organization known as Spectre (hence the title) worked for the most part by tying in all the elements from the previous three films together, though I wonder why Mathieu Amalric's Dominic Greene, the villain from QUANTUM OF SOLACE, was missing. The desert fortress in the crater became a touchstone to YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE's volcano lair, as do some other callbacks to previous entries in the series. The finale wraps up in London, something the series has never done before, putting a rather lovely bookend to the Craig quadrilogy. However, SPECTRE reminds me of the recent FX TV version of FARGO. That show works best when strays away from the source material and becomes its own entity. SKYFALL, it being the 50th anniversary recipient, was able to walk the tightrope between past and present, often seamlessly. Here, the references seem an afterthought, forced and repetitive, muddying the waters of the Bond legacy.
When I eventually rewatch SPECTRE, which of course I will do because, well, that is what I do, I may reassess many of the drawbacks I found upon this initial viewing. In order of how I rank the Daniel Craig Bond films, I rank it number after SKYFALL, CASINO ROYALE and QUANTUM OF SOLACE. Not a weak effort, just overblown, overdone and ultimately, not enough, goddamn it.
Sorry, James. But according to the final tag, you will return. And so will I. It's what we do.
SKYFALL is the James Bond film I've been waiting for my entire life and it couldn't have happened at at better time for the both of us. This is the 50th anniversary of the movie series and I've been there the entire way. This new entry in the Bond canon far surpassed my expectations, which were astronomical given the pedigree of talent in front and behind the cameras, a platinum standard, to say the very least. It culminates in accomplishing what no Bond film has before: It actually resonates.
SKYFALL begins with a blissfully old school straight action packed pre-title sequence, beautifully choreographed with a light touch, a wink and a nod that the Daniel Craig era hasn’t had up to this point. For example, when Craig as Bond crashes through the back of a train car with a bulldozer, he leaps inside and, when he lands on his feet, he straightens up and adjusts his cuffs. But by the end of the sequence, things take a abrupt turn for the worse and dramatically so, showing that there is something more at stake here and these actions actually have consequences. It’s obvious from point on that SKYFALL is headed into uncharted territory where a Bond film is elevated from just light entertainment into a movie with substance and even a heart.
For SKYFALL delves into MI6 for the first time in the series and the relationship between 007 and M which plays out throughout the story to a harrowing conclusion, the finest in the series especially given the setting. And James Bond has finally been made into been transformed into a character of flesh and blood, one with deep rooted flaws and emotions, all because the filmmakers have delved into his past to inform his present.
It’s about time. I’ve been clamoring for this for years. When I was twelve years old, YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE was my favorite James Bond adventure and still is to this very day. Back then, I wanted a hero to save the world from an evil genius whose hidden lair lie within a Japanese volcano. But as I grew older, the films seem to grow younger and even childish. Sure, they continued to entertain, but always superficially without continuity or weight. Bond as a character seemed to tread water when I knew damn well he could swim the channel. It’s understandable that the Broccoli family wanted to protect their one and only cash cow, but they smothered him. Ian Fleming's creation was treated like a fraile precious object, protected from the outside world for fear of spoilage. Therefore, Bond and his stories remained the same without continuity or even a chance of growth. The formula was just that and that alone made it diluted.
Every time the series took a momentary serious note, it was just a baby step or a breather until the next chase. Bond is married in ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE only to have his wife murdered by Blofeld in the closing scene. In the very next installment, DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, Bond meets up Blofeld again. Any mention of the late missus? Nope. Instead we're treated to a slap-happy Las Vegas affair with Jill St. John and a pre-pork sausage Jimmy Dean. Roger Moore visits his wife's grave at the start of FOR YOUR EYES ONLY, but his comeuppance with who is assumed to be Blofeld is handled in Looney Tunes fashion. Timothy Dalton’s Bond in LICENSE TO KILL avenges his CIA friend Felix Leiter, only to have him stray uncomfortably into a MIAMI VICE episode. When Pierce Brosnan came on board, there were positive signs that the character might actually evolve, especially with the introduction of Judi Dench as M. In THE WORLD WAS NOT ENOUGH, she was put into jeopardy for the first time, something SKYFALL echoes. By DIE ANOTHER DAY, however, Bond and the films are turned into a piss poor video game. But with the series reboot beginning with CASINO ROYALE, the dial was turned too far in the other direction, a serious tone that manages to be dour and frankly quite joyless. SKYFALL is a complex juggling act, keeping all the elements in the air at the same time while bridging the gap between the old and the new, thereby regenerating the series for the future.
So many things add to the enjoyment of this film: The cast including Javier Bardem’s brilliant villain, Dench, Ralph Fiennes, Ben Whisaw as Q, Albert Finney, Naomie Harris and, of course, Craig who earns his 007 stripes with full honors. Roger Deakin’s superb cinematography makes SKYFALL the most beautifully shot of any Bond film and possibly the finest of any movie this year. Stuart Baird’s razor sharp editing makes 2 1/2 pass by like nothing.
Back in the the 80s the rumor mill (something we had before the Internet), the name of Steven Spielberg was bandied about as a possible director of a Bond film. It seemed too good to be true. With Sam Mendes at the helm of SKYFALL, I'm convinced that not even Stevie-boy could match what he's done. Mendes, along with screenwriters Neil Purvis, Robert Wade and John Logan, have done for Bond what Christopher Nolan has for Batman.
Now for a few quibbles:
I have to admit that I’m not a big Adele fan, so the title song is a bit lukewarm for my taste. At least she kept her histrionics in check. Thomas Newman's score, for the most part, works well throughout, though in the pre-title feelings lacking in the car chase, almost laconic. I also find Silva’s big assassination attempt on M to be rather clumsy and unimaginative for something he had been plotting for years on end, though it does set up the superb finale.
All in all, on my list of Top Ten Bond films (see past blogpost: BOND, JAMES BOND: NOBODY DOES IT BETTER), I’ll still put YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE for sentimental reasons my sentimental reasons, but SKYFALL sits right behind it. I could say that the former is my favorite as a boy, while the latter, as a man.
James Bond has finally grown up. Maybe so have I.
With great pride and pleasure, I can say without hesitation, that the legend continues and four words give this fanboy another reason to live:
With SKYFALL, the most highly anticipated James Bond film in years, exploding across movie screens all around the world, it's only natural that I totally geek out like the aging fanboy I am and always be about the one and only 007.
Here's the list no one has asked for but I'm going to give it to you anyway, my personal favorites Bond films from first to worst.
YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE-007th Heaven. Everything I loved about this film when I was 12 years old, I still love 45 years later. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways: Japan, ninjas, fight on a rooftop,Little Nellie, best finale ever, volcanoes, outer space, Roald Dahl, Ernst Starvo Blofeld. Here's a previous blog featuring an excerpt from IN THE DARK (a movie memoir written by yours truly) to explain it for you right here
GOLDFINGER-The Mack Daddy of all Bond films. This is the one that kicked the series into the stratosphere and transformed into a legend. So many positives, so little space, but a special shout-out to Shirley Bassey and John Barry, a match made in movie music heaven.
FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE-The best written of the early Bond films, this was also the first of the series I saw at a wee lad. (Believe it or don't, it was the bottom half of a double bill) So many highlights: Robert Shaw and the night train fight, the attache case (the first gadget of the series), the boat chase and Lotte Lenya (!) as Rosa Klebb who, as we learned, "had her kicks".
THUNDERBALL-Terrence Young's last outing on the series gave him the best batting average of any Bond director. The theme song, sung by inimitable Tom Jones, had some of the most indecipherable lyrics ever.
He strikes like Thunderball? Huh?
GOLDENEYE-The collective debut of both Pierece Brosnan and director Martin Campbell put the one over the top for me. I love the story of Bond pitted against his absolute equal played by the great Sean Bean. Their fight scene alone guaranteed this a position in the Top Ten. Then again, so does Famke Jannsen as the best-and hottest-villainess in 007 land, Xenia Onatopp. Yes, she is
DR. NO-Still maintaining a healthy spot on this list is the very first film, a bit clunky in spots, but still maintains the magic it produce fifty years hence. DR. NO gave the world not only 007, but Sean Connery as 007 . Oh, and Ursula Andress rising from the surf. That in itself has made the world a better place.
CASINO ROYALE and CASINO ROYALE-This is my damn list and I will rank them as I see fit. I equate Daniel Craig's first time out with the outrageous 1967 spoof with David Niven, Peter Sellers and Woody Allen. Why? I enjoy them equally for totally separate reasons, neither one more than the other. The 2006 reboot started from scratch and really does live up to its excellent reputation. But I find the entire enterprise so damn dour that it loses points for me. And Texas Hold 'Em instead of Baccarat? No wonder Le Chiffre cried tears of blood. On the other hand, I fully acknowledge that the 1967 version is a piece of crap, but it is an extraordinary piece of crap. This is a guilty pleasure for the ages. And it's a bit telling that I own this version and not the other, isn't it?
ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE-Peter Hunt was the film editor of the first three Bond films, second unit director of the next two. then graduated to the director's chair with this oddity, George Lazenby's one and only. I have trouble galore with this pic-the length, Bond's undercover guise of Sir Hillary Bray, the lack of continuity between films with Blofeld not recognizing Bond (they just met in that fricking volcano!) But this one touches the heart for the first time with James Bond marrying Emma Peel, culminating in tragedy. Not a dry fanboy eye in the house.
FOR YOUR EYES ONLY-Despite the wretched pre-title sequence that basically craps on the previous entry, this is Roger Moore's best outing, the one where he finally earned the right to claim the throne, at least in my eyes only. Best of all, it allowed Moore's Bond to be an actual badass in a scene that has been dubbed one of Bond's Coldest Kills, as shown in the second sequence of this compilation:
THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH-Michael Apted was about as curious choice of a Bond film director as Sam Mendes is for SKYFALL. The guy who helmed COAL MINER'S DAUGHTER? WORLD has the longest pre-title of any in the series, almost a mini-movie all its own. Sophie Marceau and Robert Carlyle are a superb duo, but the ending is weak and Denise Richards as Dr.(????) Christmas Jones. Yeesh. And the title song is by Garbage. Never fails to get a chuckle out of me.
LIVE AND LET DIE-Another candidate for the guilty pleasure department is Roger Moore's first, more of an extended episode of THE SAINT than a Bond picture . But the motor boat chase in the swamp (if you discount Clifton James' overbearing redneck sheriff) kicks some Bayou bootie and George Martin's score is fan-damn-tastic.
QUANTUM OF SOLACE-Bourne, James Bourne. Much maligned for a lack of story (thanks to a writer's strike), this, the shortest Bond film ever, has more highs than lows. The pace actually helps more than hinders, even though it short-changes everything by the end. The desert finale rocks but, mama mia, this is still the worst title ever.
OCTOPUSSY-Going head to head that year with NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN, this one is the better of the two thanks to an able assist from swashbuckler novelist turned co-scenarist George Macdonald Fraser and the sensational train chase. Maud Adams in the title role three films away from her last appearance ...problematic.
THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS-I had picked Timothy Dalton to replace Roger Moore way back when I saw him in FLASH GORDON. He played 007 with the same intensity as Daniel Craig, but the series wasn't ready for that yet. Therefore, he comes off as a joyless prig much of the time for some, but to me, he filled the shoes of the iconic agent admirably. I like this entry, especially in retrospect with the Afghan/Russia conflict.
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN-Another guilty pleasure. Why I like it in two words: Christopher Lee. Why it's bad in four: Britt Ekland, Clifton James (yes, him again).
NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN-Connery returning in this long gestating project, a remake of THUNDERBALL, should have worked after so many incarnations (WARHEAD, JAMES BOND OF THE SECRET SERVICE). It didn't, even with Irvin Kerschner directing. Still, I have to give credit to a great cast: Klaus Maria Brandauer as Largo gave one of the better performances for a Bond villain, Kim Basinger as Domino, Bernie Casey as one of my favorite Felix Leiters and Barbara Carrera's Fatima Blush. It's a shame it's such an overall dud.
THE SPY WHO LOVED ME-Never a big fan of this quasi-remake of YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, substituting submarines for space capsules. It's so damn lethargic. Second tier villainess Caroline Munro would have been a better choice for the top spot instead of the boringly beautiful Barbara Bach. But, Jaws aside, a good effort, heightened by the theme song, "Nobody Does It Better", a perfect anthem for James Bond and a pre-title sequence for the ages.
TOMORROW NEVER DIES-The only film I didn't see on the big screen and I still haven't been able to warm up to this one. Michelle Yeoh and Brosnan have zero chemistry, but, surprise, surprise, he and Teri Hatcher do. A decent effort, but not very noteworthy.
DIE ANOTHER DAY- A fantastic opening sequence in North Korea begins Brosnan’s fourth and final feature.Immediately, it takes a nasty turn southward as Bond is tortured, beaten and interrogated over the opening credits. I have a feeling this isn’t a big hit at Gitmo. Regaining its footing with villain Robert Stephens’s entrance in a SPY WHO LOVED ME Union Jack parachute to the tune of “London Calling” But soon, Halle Berry appears, spectacularly enough out of the surf, Honey Ryder-style, but she’s in an entirely different movie and not a very good one either. You know there’s something wrong when Madonna’s not the worst actress in the cast. Actually, Rosamund Pike steals the show. The ice palace section is horrendous, turning the whole enterprise into a videogame, especially the pitiful wind surfing scene. By the end, I just felt sorry for Pierce. Bad way to go out.
LICENSE TO KILL-Dalton's second turn as Bond veers into MIAMI VICE territory with mixed results. The producers didn't want to fully commit, so it's pretty much stumbles and bumbles along. Highlights are the tanker truck chase, a sequence worthy of the best of the series and the theme song, the best John Barry song John Barry never wrote, a tune sung by Gladys Knight (MOP:Mit Out Pips) that is reminiscent of one by Shirley Bassey.
A VIEW TO A KILL-Disappointing misuse of San Francisco, other than the Golden Gate Bridge, is among the many botches in Moore's not-so-grand finale. VIEW does have that classic Duran Duran theme as well as one of John Barry's finest scores and a terrific villain turn for Christopher Walken, worth the admission price alone. Otherwise, meh.
DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER-Yikes. Connery’s first attempt to come back as Bond failed miserably. The fact that he donated his salary to a Scottish charity is admirable even though the movie is not. Crass, stupid, sloppily constructed, this one hurts. Charles Gray, a sensational actor and villain in other pictures, is God-awfully miscast as Blofeld. Jill St John is a bottom feeding Bond girl. I wanted Lana Wood as Plenty O'Toole ("Named for your father perhaps.") to stick around, but she had a pool date. DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER was almost a blueprint of how the series was going to play out in the next decade and the outlook was pretty grim. It has worsened with age too. One camera shot saves this from rock bottom: Connery stands on top of an outside elevator on a Las Vegas hotel, heading for the penthouse. For one brief moment, he crosses his leg and assumes the classic James Bond pose. It’s not enough to save the movie, but at the very least, it’s something.
MOONRAKER-The worst of the worst, the nadir of the whole franchise. Absolutely nothing works in this turd. The return of Jaws was the return of an abscessed tooth as far as I was concerned. It became a bad Road Runner cartoon, one of the later ones not directed by Chuck Jones, with Richard Kiel as Wile E. Coyote. Damn, I hate this picture. The Broccoli crime family showed time and time again that they were insecure with their own hero, trying to plug him into whatever craze was popular at the time. In this case, it was STAR WARS and the results are disastrous. I'm surprised they didn't try to send him to Middle Earth for some LORD OF THE RINGS caper. Adhering to current trends just cheapens the character and comprises the integrity of the whole series. MOONRAKER was the first Ian Fleming book I read as a kid, so I had been looking forward to it for over twelve years. Imagine my disappointment when this appeared. It was like getting E-coli for Christmas. PU.
This list is bookended by the same directors. Lewis Gilbert and Guy Hamilton directed my most and least favorites. Imagine that.
So where is SKYFALL going to land on this list? I'll have to get back to you on that. Since what ever delayed its production, the future looks bright for Bond. I, 007 aficionado with a license to geek, am relieved that, as the end credit so often reads that JAMES BOND WILL RETURN. And when he does, so will I.
Indeed yes, winter has kicked the ass of the Pacific Northwest, including yours truly. Snow, ice, freezing rain, flurries, sleet, wind chills...you name it, we got it and it's whipping me like a dominatrix's boy toy. Now they're saying we're going to have a blizzard...and not the kind you can buy at DQ. It's cold too. Real brass monkey weather. And damn, when it ain't so freakin' treacherous, it's pretty awe inspiring. Today, I looked towards the surrounding hills, veiled in fog with the trees dusted with powdered sugary snow, making it all seem like some kind of repressed Guy Maddin memory. Yeah, the winter weather can sometimes takes your breath, in more ways than one. (Hey, isn't that Jack Nicholson I see outside my window running through the neighborhood? Who is this Danny kid he keeps yelling for? Goddamn it, he's annoying...) The bottom line is this: After ten years up here, I'm still a rank amateur in the ways of the PNW winter. Where I came from, down in Stockton, California, all we had to worry about was fog. Well, and bullets, but that's not exactly a seasonal weather condition, is it? That's fun fun fun all the year round!
On to other matters...
Isn't that Barack Obama the best president ever. He hasn't even taken office yet and already he has a 99% approval rating. And look how he reaches across the aisle to the other side and gives them the best Christmas present ever: Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State. Hey Conservatives! Now you don't have to shred all those hilarious jokes you guys have been saving since the Nineties! I can't wait to receive them all in my e-mail inbox...AGAIN.
A friend of mine recently e-mailed me with this:
"I just saw the new Bond movie. The villain reminds me of you. You have his eyes."
She's referring to French actor Mathieu Amalric, who plays Dominic Greene in QUANTUM OF SOLACE.
Coincidentally enough, Amalric starred in last year's THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY, playing a man who suffers a severe stroke and is completely paralyzed except his left eye. He uses a code to blink out his memoir to a transcriber, one letter at a time.
I suppose I should be flattered.
She could have said I looked like Gert Frobe.
Speaking of the new Bond film, I have to say that even though it isn't as good as CASINO ROYALE, it made for a more pleasurable personal movie-going experience. Bond movies always seem to be suited for the Xmas season, so that put me in the right mood. Wandering through downtown Portland, which I haven't done for awhile and especially not during the holidays, gave a peace of mind I probably wouldn't have if I stayed out in the Burbs. The theater I chose, which still a wretched multi-plex, at least had the decency to provide good enough sound-proofing so that I didn't have to be subjected to the booming, screeching sounds of TRANSPORTER 3 next door. Finally, the auditorium was near empty, giving me the near-solitude I require since, as I've said many a time, that's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it.
The film itself is really slapdash, the producers leaning way too much on the adrenaline throttle of the BOURNE series. One action scene follows another with minimal story development that it began to resemble a porn film. The editing on these sequences too is so over-amped that is gets repetitious and almost tiring to the point that when the film finally slows down to take a breath, it appears to just crawl, but it really isn't.
And I love Judi Dench as much as the next guy...maybe even more....woof! There is nothin' like a Dame...but why in the hell is she back as M when the whole point was to start from scratch, Hence ,no gadgets, Q, bad puns, quips, cartoonish plots and a new Bond. As good as Jude is, she belongs to the Pierce Brosnan era. A new M would have really helped clean the slate.
However, QUANTUM does few things wrong and becomes a worthy addition to not only the new incarnation of Ian Fleming's character, but serves as the first direct sequel to a Bond film and provides closure on the rebooting of the series. I appreciated the callbacks to previous entries, particularly GOLDFINGER, ironically enough, and ending with the gun barrel signature and the James Bond Theme. Several sequences stand out, action-wise with the bullring chase and fight near the opening and the finale in the desert. Then there is that great pivotal moment on the jet flying to South America with Bond, loaded after quite a few martinis, confessing to the only men he feels he can trust, one of them, his bartender.
That is MY Christmas present this year...the return of my original hero...Bond, James Bond.
Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Good Kwanzaa, Delightful Ramadan, whatever you happen to celebrate. Have one on me whatever that one may be and, as I always say at this time of year...I really mean it this time...
BE GOOD TO EACH OTHER AND PLEASE, BE GOOD TO YOURSELVES. WE ALL DESERVE IT.
