Ten Years Later Than Never

Oh goody. It's the end of the year and another decade, so that means it's time for some reflection and to
pontificate on the passage of time to see where we've been, what we've learned and speculate on the future.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ......

Huh? What? Who's that? How did I fall asleep on my laptop? My face has keyboard marks all over it. Holy crap, I just backspaced the last decade! Sigh. If only...

Aw, bullshit. Life. That's what happened in ten years' time. A lot of ups. A lot of downs. Still managing the balancing act, though I wish it would stop tipping so much. I'm getting motion sickness and my arms are tired.

However, I'm choosing to focus on the highlights here. The bad times can take care of themselves and, frankly have done so already. They've had their way with me and everybody else out there, so instead of dwelling on them, I prefer to sweep them away like so many dust bunnies, at least for the time being.

The time being. Or should I say the time remaining? The mortality question or statement, for that matter, has been rearing its inevitable head as the clock continues to click away. As such, I prefer to to celebrate the good because it still exists in this increasingly angry, complicated and overly-caffeinated world. I'm just a sap at heart and therefore, an easy mark, but gosh darn to heck, I still maintain hope over cynicism because that's the kinda guy I am.

And I have several reasons to back this up. I'm crazy about my family, filled with loving, caring, intelligent human beings who make this world better by their very presence. Two new additions have doubled my grandpa ante, a one-two shot of granddaughters born on both sides of the decade. This all culminated in a brilliant family reunion this past August on the Oregon Coast.

In 2011, a summer vacation straight out of an MGM musical caused to fall in love with New York City, particularly my beloved borough of Brooklyn. (See the New York posts on my page: CHERNEY JOURNEYS) As a result, it seemed to set things in motion for me about how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. I needed to get back to writing. I felt this was my last option as (please don't gag) an artist. I was wrong. I've been wrong for most of my life. It should have been my first option and stuck with it. But I dove back in, especially when good fortune came my way when I finally put myself out there. Once I was lost, but then I was found.

Great American Melodrama cast and me courtesy of Ed Thorpe

I'm sure I've bored you to horrors already with the success I've had with my melodrama and murder mysteryplays in the last few years, so I'll beg off...for now. But I would like to acknowledge and once again thank the following theater companies who have produced my work since 2014:

MEL O' DRAMA THEATER (Mel Roady is the Queen!) Nashville, TN
THE GREAT AMERICAN MELODRAMA AND VAUDEVILLE Oceano, CA
FOOTHILL THEATRE CO. Jackson, CA
AVENUE THEATER West Plain, MO
CHEYENNE LITTLE THEATER Cheyenne, WY
BRAZOS THEATRE Waco, TX
THEATER SUBURBIA Houston, TX
MANTORVILLE THEATRE Mantorville, MN
MT. VERNON COMMUNITY THEATRE Mt. Vernon, MO
STAGECOACH THEATRE CO. Louson County, VA
SUGAR HIGH THEATRICALS Galesburg, IL
ROGUE THEATRE CO. Sturgeon Bay, WI
DELTON ACT Delton, MI
SANZMAN PRODUCTIONS, Los Angeles, CA
SLV THEATRE CO. San Luis Valley, CO
BRICKSTREET PLAYERS Clovis, NM
RIO LINDA ELVERTA COMMUNITY THEATRE Rio Linda, CA

(For info about my plays, visit www.scottcherney.com)

I did manage to write a new book, an adaptation of my melodrama SONG OF THE CANYON KID, which was read by less people than saw the CATS movie. But it managed to gear me up for a personal triumph, the completion of the first draft of a novel I began 22 years ago, now in a major re-write stage. More information coming soon. Promise!

I'm going to close with this photograph of a couple of my grandchildren, Aefa and Sebastian, frolicking at the beach in Lincoln City, Oregon this past summer. I don't take many good photographs. In fact, not at all. When I get something like this, it's a happy accident. Now there's a good metaphor for the past ten years, a series of happy accidents amidst all the strife that threatens to overwhelm us all on an on-going basis. Look at those two in that shot. That's pure joy captured in that moment of time and it's out there not just for the asking, but for the taking. They're the future and they give me...here's that word again...hope. The latest addition to our Brady Bunch, Athena, fought like the little warrior princess to be here in this world. Why shouldn't we do the same to stay here? The love I have for my grandkids surely enters in this assessment and if it does, so what? They've helped me through the minefield this far. I'm ready for the long haul. Or I should say, the rest of the journey.


The Cherney Journey, ready to take on The Roaring Twenties.

Happy New Year and Decade, gang.

2 Legit 2 Quit

The Star Truck Innerthighs flies again!

In this, the fourth year of establishing myself as an independent playwright, an uphill road to say the very least, I had three very special surprises that keep the fires stoked when the flames begin to flicker.

First off, Melanie Delbridge of Sugar High Theatricals in Galesburg, Illinois contacted me after finding DEAD TUESDAYon my  online storefront and wished to produce it, appropriately enough, on Fat Tuesday back in February. Alas, the date was postponed and rescheduled for April, adding two additional performances. First off, finding the play to begin with harkens back to what began this whole process for me when The Great American Melodrama and Vaudeville discovered SONG OF THE CANYON KID back in 2012. After that, I met my angel and another Mel, Melanie Roady of Mel O'Drama Theater who commissioned me to pen my first murder mystery, THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS, a play I have since re-named DEAD TUESDAY, thanks to another angel, producer Jerri Wiseman of StageCoach Theatre.

Secondly, producer/director Roscoe of the San Luis Valley Theatre Company of Fort Garland, Colorado will present the second production of STAR TRUCK: THE WRATH OF COMIC-CON under its brand spanking new title MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER on the first weekend of June. Activate fist pump sequence...NOW!

If one of my plays is produced, I am obviously over the moon. However, I am in this for the long haul and prefer that these are not one night stands. In my insecure mind, one production is a fluke, but a second time around makes it legitimate. For example, SONG OF THE CANYON KID had its premiere at the late and legendary Palace Showboat Theatre in 1986. Once I put the script out there by self-publishing it, the second production did not occur until over 25 years later. The vindication for DEAD TUESDAY happened last year, two years after its initial offering. Now MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER becomes legit two years later as well.

Just to wrap this all up in a pretty bow, SONG OF THE CANYON KID will be the last production in series of melodramas this summer at the Mantorville Theatre Company in Minnesota, a group I have been soliciting every year since I first began marketing my plays. But thanks to Mantorville's Melisa Ferris pushing this through, my persistence-and pestering-has paid off.

There seems to be something about women named Mel that must transform them into theater angels. As for Jerri and Roscoe, I may have to call you Mel too. After all, who knows for whom the Mel tolls. It tolls for me.

On that note, I'll just exit, stage right.

Like these theater companies on Facebook, wouldja?
SUGAR HIGH THEATRICALS 
SAN LUIS VALLEY THEATRE COMPANY
MANTORVILLE THEATRE COMPANY
STAGECOACH THEATRE COMPANY
MEL O'DRAMA THEATER

For more info about my plays, please visit SCOTT CHERNEY'S STOREFRONT or my website
WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY

See also: BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY

Yin v. Yang: Dawn of Just Us

Mr. Cherney, I've got some good news and I've got some bad news.

Of course you do. That's how you people operate.

You people?


Skip it. What's the good news?


Well, the good news is that for the third year in a row, your plays are being produced in various parts of the country.


That is good news. I'm afraid to ask. What's the bad news?

You know that place you've been living for the past ten years? You're going to have to vacate in 90 days. Your landlords are kicking you to the curb.


Lovely. Just lovely. Looks like I've got the makings of a new melodrama.

Such is the year 2016 for your humble narrator, a shit storm with patches of intermittent sunbursts. This recent life development has made us just another goddamn casualty of the housing market feeding frenzy that's tearing up the greater Portland metro area and rest of the formerly free world. Our landlords ambushed us with the news that they have decided to put our home sweet home on the market this summer. A Seller's Market in this economy should be a good thing, but not for the flotsam and jetsam in this society that we suddenly find ourselves to be. One shouldn't really begrudge them this golden opportunity after the housing crisis, but this has created another housing crisis as a result: OURS. So I'm summoning up some old Hungarian black magic and putting a curse of this joint when we walk out the door for the last time, probably involving bleeding walls.On second thought, I'll wait until we got they return our deposit.

We're not alone in our currently miserable situation. Truth to tell, we could have gotten 30 days notice instead of 90 as so many have, but rent prices have skyrocketed and the rules of the game have been rigged against us...and apparently everyone else trying to find a place to live. In most scenarios, rental applicants must have income three times the rental price of even the dumpiest of dumps. The long slog of searching for the new Casa de Cherney continues on for forty days and forty nights with parking and burning bush available for an additional fee. But hey, everyone wants to show you their lovely clubhouse and fitness center, neither one you allowed to move into even though they make the actual living space a spider hole in comparison. Then there's the fluctuating rents that are up, down, flying around like the stock market so that what was quoted today will be another story entirely tomorrow even if it is a day away.

The initial anger over the whole situation hasn't diminished much, even with the brave face I am using to mask my true feelings. Soon panic will set in and that's never a good thing. The rug has pulled pulled out from under my wife and I, uncovering an open trap door on a Wile E. Coyote cliff over The Dreaded Depths of Despair. It won't be long before we start standing at freeway exits with cardboard signs that read: WILL WORK FOR RENTAL APPLICATION FEES

It's all so overwhelming and all encompassing, not to mention the fact that it is occurring at an extremely inopportune moment in time. (I don't know, kid. When exactly would be a  more convenient time to get tossed out in the snow on your ass by Mr. and Mrs. Snidely Whiplash?)  This prolific period of creativity I find myself in (aka The Final Push) is getting side-lined by this mess and the pause button is working overtime, adding to my frustration, stress levels and ever looming depression. But I'll be damned if I'm going to let this become another lame excuse for procrastination. The iron's hot and so am I. Not just under the collar either.

What's really keeping me afloat, besides the love of my life who is in the same rapidly sinking ship with me and the support of my family, is my continuing good fortune with my plays. No sooner did the StageCoach Theatre Company production of DEAD TUESDAY end that the Brazos Theatre Group in Waco, Texas agreed to produce SONG OF THE LONE PRAIRIE over Memorial Day weekend. That will be the last time the show will go under that title for in July, Theatre Suburbia in Houston, Texas (a Lone Star two-fer!) had agreed to stage the same show under that thar other title, SONG OF THE CANYON KID as their summer mellerdrammer (their word, not mine.) This will be the name of that particular script going forward and I begin a re-branding process I should have started a year ago.

On top of all that, I am relaunching the novelization of SONG OF THE CANYON KID at Northwest Local, the Beaverton City Library's local author fair on May 21. I'll be doing a reading, selling my wares and try not to think about what freeway underpass I may be sleeping under soon. Gotta keep my pecker up for that. (No, not that one.) Stiff upper lip and all that rot. It ain't easy. My mouth is cramping.

In the midst of this chaos, it's tough to gain perspective, but I think I have a handle on it, though my grip is slippery thanks to my sweaty palms.

I reckon I've been on the carousel for too long. It's a pleasant enough ride traveling in circles, not without its ups and downs if you decide to hop on a pony.But if you choose to sit in the swan, you can sit back and allow the passing world lull you into submission. And there lies the problem. The merry-go-round can lull you into a false sense of security, dulling your senses and ultimately making you the one thing you can't afford to be in today's world: vulnerable. And when you're yanked off the carousel and thrust into the driver's seat of a bumper car and discover the steering wheel is missing, forcing you to get out and hitchhike. Wait until you get on the roller coaster. Some of the tracks are missing.

You know what? I'm sick of this goddamn carnival. The rides suck, the games are rigged and the hot dog on a stick has splinters. It's time to shake it off, regain our footing and quit acting like victims. We ain't down and out, but we have been knocked for a loop by a sucker punch out of nowhere. But we're gonna keep a'comin'. We're the people that live. They can't wipe us out. They can't lick us. We'll go on forever 'cuz we're the people!

Oh boy. I've turned into Ma Joad. But I'm okay with that. I can go all Howard Beale too. That's a righteous combination in my book. More importantly, I gotta be me. I'm dead serious when I say that this is Cherney's Last Stand and I'll be damned if I'm going let this get in my way . There's no way in Heaven, Hell or Hillsboro that this thing is over yet.

It's yin and yang, yang and yin. If it ain't yin, it's yang, vice versa and simultaneously. They seem to be on equal footing at the moment, which at least allows me some semblance of balance in this mine field. Then again, this could all very well be a knockdown, drag-out fight for the ownership of my soul. But I'm not going to stand on the sidelines while it all goes down. I'm throwing down the gauntlet myself and declaring this triple threat match because I'm stepping back into the ring.

In the words of Yogi Berra, Lenny Kravitz and the fat lady getting ready to sing at the opera, it ain't over 'til it's over.

Dead Tuesday

Plunk your magic twanger, Froggy!

The StageCoach Theatre Company's next production is an interactive murder mystery written by yours truly entitled DEAD TUESDAY. The show will be performed over the next month in venues around Virginia and the Washington, DC metro area, previously uncharted territory for one of my shows.

DEAD TUESDAY is not a new script of mine. It has been re-titled from its original, THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS, which debuted in 2014 (see previous post: CROAK AND DAGGER)  If this is the first you've heard of it, the show tells the tale of an international philanthropist playboy who is the one who can solve the mystery of a prominent New Orlenas socialite during Mardi Gras, even though he's hampered by his own problems. A voodoo curse is turning him into a frog. Yep, it's a strange story to say the least. Most of the characters are based on the paintings of artist Jann Harrison. I was commissioned by Melanie Roady of Mel O'Drama Theater in Nashville to create a script using her creations and voila, here it is. It is such an odd duck of a show, I had my doubts whether or not it would see the light of a stage again. But thanks to Jerri Wiseman of StageCoach Theatre Company, Francois hops again.

Jerri asked if I would consider a name change since the original isn't very marketable. This is something I've toyed with myself, using the rather awful but compromised alternative MARDI GRAS MAYHEM in my own solicitations. This being a purely commercial venture, I'm totally flexible with this change and have no problem with her suggestion of DEAD TUESDAY (a riff on Mardi Gars' Fat Tuesday). Back in 2013, the Great American Melodrama asked to change the title of my melo from SONG OF THE LONE PRAIRIE to TALES OF THE CANYON KID. I opted for SONG OF THE CANYON KID to coincide with the novel version I had just published. (That play will now be known by that title alone) Theaters wishing to make changes to a work should be flown by the author and I appreciate the integrity of an organization having the respect to do so, especially for an independent like myself.

So welcome back, Francois. Let the good times croak.

For more information of the StageCoach Theatre Company production of DEAD TUESDAY, visit their website at stagecoachtc.com and their Facebook page 

To read an excerpt or find more information about  DEAD TUESDAY aka THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS, go to my website. WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY

Performance rights are available. For more info, e-mail at writtenbysc@gmail.com