I've come to the decision to bring my unfortunately short time as a playwright representative to a close. Therefore I am no longer handling Michael K. Young's CASE OF THE MYSTERIOUS CRAVAT or Terry Smith's trio of scripts MURDER ON THE BRITISH EXPRESS, PROPOSAL IS MURDER and MOONSHINE MURDERS. These two gentlemen have been very accommodating and patient throughout this process and I tip my non-existent cap to them.
So what happened? Or should I ask what didn't happen? In recent years, I've had some success marketing my own scripts independently basically one theater at a time, a time-tested method that worked for me, hence the two dozen productions that I've had for my work. However it didn't translate very well with properties that were not my own. Try as I might, I was spinning my wheels and not gettin' nowhere for my clients. It wasn't that the entire enterprise was a total botch. I was able to score Mike a couple of productions in that time, but in the past year, it's quite frankly been a struggle. What started as a side hustle had devolved into a side hassle. My times at bat became a series of walks, fouls and complete whiffs, so if I felt it best that I bench myself and set my two fellow scribes free. It's a damn shame because I wanted to do this for some time, hopefully growing this into a self-sustaining business in these, what I hesitate to call, my twilight years. (Now what? A greeter at Wal-Mart? I hate blue vests!)
My own work was suffering as well. I have several projects sitting on an metaphorical shelf, collecting dust bunnies in the hutch that is my mind. My already established properties have also languished, taking a backseat to my agent responsibilities, a perceived conflict of interest, though my plays have always been part of what I pompously called "my catalog of titles". Even though three of my scripts have been published by Off the Wall Plays, sales have never got beyond the flatline and I find the need to continuing to market these suckers myself for the honor and privilege of legitimacy. And my long-gestating book has already turned from a lifelong obsession into an albatross the size of a emu around my neck.
The time has come to revert back into my previous incarnation as a Charley Varrick wannabe (aka Last of the Independents). So I have to concentrate on my first, but last remaining client-ME. My other sites-MURDER, MELODRAMA AND MORE! will remain as I add more content of my plays 'n stuff, not to mention but I will anyway, the mothership, WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY and the FB page of the same name.
Should an interest in Mike and Terry's interactive murder mystery scripts, feel free to contact me at: writtenbysc@gmail.com and I will forward your information to them.
As a personal note to Mike and Terry, thanks again for allowing me to be your playwright representative for the last little while. I hope you wish me the best of luck in my future endeavors because, unironically, that it what I wish for you guys.
Famed bon vivant/amateur detective Francois Fibian has been away from the stage for far too long, but, glory hallelujah, he has returned!
State College Community Theatre in State College, PA presents the interactive murder mystery DEAD TUESDAY, its first production in this here decade, on February 24, 25 and 26 at the Arena Bar & Grill in State College. Ticket info can be found at:
DEAD TUESDAY tells the tale of international playboy Francois Fibian as he sets out to solve the murder of a New Orleans socialite during Mardi Gras. Unfortunately, he's got problems of his own. A voodoo curse is changing him into a frog.
Yes, really.
I've told the story of how this show came to be, most notably in the blog post CROAK AND DAGGER: A FROG BLOG. Please give it a read. It's a pretty good story in and of itself.
Performances rights are available for DEAD TUESDAY, $40 per performance with all script fees waived for a limited time. Contact me at writtenbysc@gmail.com fo' mo' info.
For a show that I never thought would see the light of another stage after the first, it's pleases me to no end that there is still life left in this show after all. Francois is like the Eveready Froggy. he keeps hopping and hopping...well, you get the idea.
This year, DEAD TUESDAY, the interactive murder mystery formerly known as THE PERILS OF
FRANCOIS, celebrates its 5th anniversary. And what a year it has been, having its fullest production slate since its inception back 2014. Three different theater companies across the country staged this opus o' mine, not bad for a show I didn't think would get past its first production. Apparently, Jann Harrison's creation, Francois Fibian, the man who would be frog as interpreted by yours truly, has caught on beyond my expectations. It's not that I thought it was an inferior product. Not at all. I'm proud of this script, but it was just that it's so...odd, a little quirky for the general public. Blissfully wrong again.
Ending the year with a bang, not a croak, DEAD TUESDAY's third and final production of the year will also be its West Coast premiere courtesy of SanZman Productions down in La La Land. Technically, it's not Hollywood, but that's moot as far as I'm concerned. SanZman will stage DT in several locations in the L.A. area.
To make matters even sweeter, my friend Melanie Roady, the producer who commissioned me to write this show in the first place, gave me yet another wonderful and generous gift. Previously, she sent me the the latex mask from that first show in Nashville, a full head that sits inside the front door of my apartment. Now she mailed me a framed authentic Jann Harrison original of Monsieur Fibian. Her reasoning was that he belongs with his "daddy creator". Aw, shucks. That woman is the best.
As I stated in the past, I have blessed to have an angel like Mel in my corner. She put me on this path that I've been on for half a decade now, helping me achieve a third act in life and making me find my way once again. I am eternally humbled and grateful. Love you, Mel.
So this month wraps up the Year of the Frog and it's been all Francois all the time. In 2020, I have three bookings at this writing including my first here in Oregon. Huzzah! More to come (fingers crossed) including an interesting side hustle and some honest-to-goodness new material (fingers uncrossed so I can write).
As a former boss of mine used to say-
Stay tuned.
Performance rights for DEAD TUESDAY are available. Contact me at writtenbysc@gmail.com
Call it a twist of fate, pure dumb luck or just the magic of Francois, but lightning has struck again in a
BRING ME THE HEAD OF FRANCOIS FIBIAN!
very significant fashion. DEAD TUESDAY will have a one night only performance on June 1 in Delton, Michigan, a benefit show for the Delton VFW produced by the Delton ACT (Amatuer Community Theatre). While that news is wonderful all by its lonesome self,this being the second of now 3 productions of DT this year, the story behind it makes it even more special for me.
I was contacted via e-mail by one of show's directors, Jordan Dimock (Michael Moray being the other) a short time ago. She had read DEAD TUESDAY and asked if his theater could produce it. Even though it was a one and done performance, I don't take any offer lightly. I'm grateful that anyone would even consider doing my stuff. Sure, I'd like it if there were multiple shows because that means more royalties for moi. What can I say? I'm a stinkin' capitalist but also a starving artist. (By the way, I could use a snack.)
What makes this so swell for me is that Jordan found the script online, which exactly how I got started in this business to begin with. Back in the fall of 2013, the artistic director of the Great American Melodrama and Vaudeville Theater in Oceano, California found my melodrama SONG OF THE CANYON KID online and wanted it for their summer attraction the following year. Encouraged by this sudden interest in something I had written, I began my long journey and contacting theaters myself and sending out scripts across the country. This resulted in a segue into uncharted waters, that being a distant cousin of melodrama theater, interactive murder mysteries, thanks to my pal Melanie Roady of Mel O'Drama Theater in Nashville. (see post: CROAK AND DAGGER: A FROG BLOG). As a result of my efforts since 2013, my shows, including the upcoming Delton performance, now total 19 productions in 12 different states. And there's more to come. Not too bad for a one man operation, if I do say so myself. I gotta own this 'cuz it keeps me going in good times and bad.
My scripts are on-line since I have yet to interest any publisher to take me on as a client, despite my minor success on the boards. Therefore, I went the self-publish route and with that great power comes great responsibility...and more time away from the actual task of WRITING. (Sorry. Didn't mean to yell.) But the main thing is, as Thomas Haden Church says to Paul Giamatti in the great film SIDEWAYS, "Just get your work out there, man." So, out of necessity, I took my unpublished (but not unproduced) work out of the dark and put it out in the world. While this has yielded only a few hits as opposed to my own solicitations, it was not only a starting point, but a means to an end. Stepping out of the shadows has done me a world of good.
My thanks to Delton ACT for choosing my show and everyone else who has done so in the past and plans to do so in the future.
And, of course, Francois sends his regards.
For more information about DEAD TUESDAY or any other piece o' writin' I done did, please visit my website: WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY
or if'n y'all wanna buy sumpin' go to: SCOTT CHERNEY'S STORE
or drop me a line at: writtenbysc@gmail.com (Ethiopian princes need not apply)
A few years back, a project fell into my lap, the strangest theatrical venture with which I've been involved, and one that I believed to be a one-shot wonder. Hence, the tale of Francois Fibian, a bon vivant from New Orleans that solves a murder mystery as he's turning into a frog (?!) Yup, that's the premise DEAD TUESDAY, formerly known as THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS began back in 2014.
(see previous post: CROAK AND DAGGER: A FROG BLOG) Thanks to an angel named mel Roady in Nashville, I got my first script commission for an interactive murder mystery, a genre I never attempted before.
While I am proud of the end result, I never expected FRANCOIS to see the light of day again. That
didn't stop me from submitting it to theaters here, there and everywhere, especially after Mel produced yet another original script STAR TRUCK: THE WRATH OF COMIC-CON (now re-named MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER) the following year. That show I felt had the most potential for future productions and I was (initially) proven right. LO and behold, the StageCoach Theatre Company agreed to stage FRANCOIS a second time. (WHUT?) Producer Jerri Wiseman asked my permission to change the name of the show to the more marketable title DEAD TUESDAY. I liked it enough to keep it. (see previous post: DEAD TUESDAY) A year later, a third production was mounted in Illinois which made me believe that this show is indeed legit. One production is a fluke, two, a blessing, three,no longer a bastard.
After a several dozen inquiries (and a few publication rejections which is why I done did myself), I heard from TWO separate companies on both sides of the country that wanted to mount productions in 2019.
First up, the Rogue Theater in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin has seven performances scheduled at various venues in their area beginning April 3.
This fall, Francois will hop across the country, SanZman Productions will stage the West Coast premiere of DEAD TUESDAY in the Los Angeles area beginning in October.
So to the Rogue Theater and SanZman Productions, I thank you, Francois thanks you and most of all...Break a flipper.
In Twenty Seventeen The world turned really mean And it seemed to me It was way beyond repair Oh I'll never look back and wonder Cuz I really just don't care
Okay. I'm not a lyricist. Sue me. No, don't. In this day and age, you probably will. Plus I do care. Probably too much.
Without a full year-end review because you can find that anywhere else, I will only say that, at its worst, 2017 seemed like a sneak preview of the post-Apocalypse. Can anyone say Dystopia Now? At its best, we're still here. Get used to it. We human beings are a pretty resilient bunch, that's for sure. And we'll persevere. Because, as Ma Joad once said, "We're the people."
Instead of moaning and groaning about the past, present and future, I choose to celebrate 2017 because, guess what, it wasn't all bad. Here are some of the better things-17 in fact- that happened to me this year-personally, professionally and culturally.
PERSONALLY
Celebrated 20 year anniversary with my beautiful wife, Laurie
Turning grandpahood into an art-form, watching my grandson Sebastian graduate from high school with honors and enter college, then traveling to Denver to witness my spectacular granddaughter Aefa on stage for her theater camp performance of Hair Salon Disaster. Finally, wrapping up the year in the prettiest of bows when I discovered I am becoming a grandpa AGAIN. Yes!
PROFESSIONALLY
In 2017, I had five stage productions of my plays, a new personal best. MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER was performed with three separate theater companies. SONG OF THE CANYON KID finally made it onto the stage of the Mantorville Theatre Co. in Minnesota after four years of me bugging the hell out of them. They even filmed one of their shows, available on the YouTube. Take a look-see for yourself.
While I haven't completed anything new for 2017, I did combine two of my melodramas, LEGEND OF THE ROGUE and ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS into one volume I oh-so cleverly call A DOUBLE SHOT OF HA-HA, a companion piece for the two murder mysteries called A DOUBLE SHOT OF MURDER. Next year, a third in the series called A DOUBLE SHOT OF NO NEW IDEAS.
CULTURALLY
My birthday movie this year was LA LA LAND that I took in at a sweet little neighborhood cinema in Portland called the Moreland. I enjoyed the film (with reservations) but it was more about the experience, a treat I gave myself. Recently I took in THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MO., another fine film with which I have some issues, although it was an afternoon well worth spending playing with the reclining seats.
Way too much good TV (it's getting to be a dangerous obsession) with my very favorite being TABOO with my fave rave Tom Hardy. I'll also include the hoot known as FEUD, BETTER THINGS with my girlfriend Pamela Adlon, THE LEFTOVERS with my other gal pal Ann Dowd, MINDHUNTERS, GODLESS w/Jeff Daniels and oh so many more that I'll have to enter them below.
The best all around season in recent memory for DOCTOR WHO was a fitting send-off for both Dr. 13 Peter Capaldi and show-runner Steven Moffat. Whiny geeks have been bitching about Moffat for eons. Now they can complain about everything else. And they will. Trust me. Moffat was my entry drug into this show and I will be eternally grateful.
Peter Morgan's writing on THE CROWN gives me a reason to live.
Another Morgan, Jeffrey Dean to be exact, is the finest villain in recent memory as THE WALKING DEAD's Negan. Whatever shortcoming the show has lately, JDM is crushing it each and every time he appears. And I tire of the death knell the former fans are ringing for this show. Shut up. Move on. Get another show. Hate watching is for morons.
After a terrible personal tragedy, Patton Oswalt rebounded with his hilarious and moving Netflix stand-up special, ANNIHILATION.
With a year that included both Paul Auster's 4321 and Michael Chabon's MOONGLOW, the finest fiction I read this year had to be Francine Prose's MISTER MONKEY, a multi-character comic tale revolving around a children's theater performance. It warmed my heart like no other.
Non-fiction wise, the hands down winner was Kliph Nesroff's superb history of stand up comedy THE COMEDIANS.
Some nice tunes this year with local favorite Portugal the Man's catchy ditty I FEEL IT STILL a good listen as well as Awol Nation's WOMAN WOMAN. If I have to be honest, I have to go with The Revivalists' WISH I KNEW YOU as my pick o' the year. It had a good beat and I could dance to it. Plus the nostalgic paigns of new love in an older life hits me in the sweet spot.
A monumental day at the Denver Art Museum for their incredible exhibition ONCE UPON A TIME...THE WESTERN: A NEW FRONTIER IN ART AND FILM. I was in hog heaven. (I just rejoined the the Portland Art Museum, so expect see some kudos going that-away next year)
Nothing compares to the restaurant experience-food, service, ambience- at the New Orleans' style bistro ACADIA in Portland. I'm still salivating over that meal.
I have been searching for a perfect every day beer for years now and I found it this year. Silver Moon Brewery of Bend, Oregon gave the world-and me, in particular-this fine beverage. Chapter 2 Casual Ale. it is what I will consume come midnight on New Year's.
Finally, my good friend and benefactor Melanie Roady, formerly of Mel O' Drama Theater, gifted me with the original latex head of Francois Fibian from the original production of THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS (now known as DEAD TUESDAY) Created by master mask maker David Knezz, he is true work of art and I'm proud to own him for more reasons than one. Francois sits above my front door, reminding of me who I am and what I can do. Now all I have to do...is do it.
That's what 2018 is all about. Let's do it, people. Otherwise, we have to blame no one but ourselves. Time's a-wastin' and waits for no man, woman or child. The only thing you have to lose is yourself-and that's the whole ballgame.
Happy New Year, I mean it. Let's reboot and start 2018 on, if not a positive, at least a willing note. It's time we took back our lives. We either surrendered or cowered in fear when the Empire struck back and snatched it away. We have to fight back. Our very survival-physically, mentally, morally- depends on it.
Bring on the 2018.
Full steam ahead.
Fire in the hole, kids.
Now comes the time of year where we actually acknowledge those things in our lives for which we are indeed grateful because, Heaven forfend, we should do it a daily basis to counter-balance the seemingly endless avalanche of horrible stuff 'n nonsense we also have to contend with in this, what used to be known as the best of all possible worlds.
(Whew! At this age, even run-on sentences wear me out!)
As always, I am eternally thankful to win the life lottery with the family and friends that I have in this lifetime. I would say that it goes without saying, but they humble me into welcome submission every time. As time passes like a bullet train, I will proclaim love for my family until my dying breath. As for my friends, I still cherish our time together and long for more even as it becomes more impossible logistically.
As for my recent success with my plays, (alas, so much more lucrative than my books) my unprecedented fourth year has wrapped up this past Halloween. SONG OF THE CANYON KID was the grand finale of the summer melodrama program at the Mantorville Theatre Company in Minnesota, a group I had been trying to get my work into long before I began this journey. DEAD TUESDAY, my initial murder mystery featuring the inimitable froggy bon vivant Francois Fibian, got another run, this time in Illinois. And MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER received an amazing three separate productions in the aforementioned Illinois as well as with the San Luis Valley Theatre Company in Fort Garland, Colorado and Brickstreet Players in Clovis, New Mexico. That breaks my personal best of five productions in four different states.
It came with a price, though.
I discovered that THE FINAL FRONTIER had been staged without my knowledge or permission at the same time it was being presented in New Mexico. I had been following up with some theaters that I had sent my script by checking their websites or Facebook pages when lo and behold, what do I see? MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER went on-and off-the boards the week before, exactly at the same time as the Brickstreet Players production on the other side of the country. It was then and there that I discovered the true meaning of the term "gob-smacked". The weird part was that the guilty party was a company that had produced DEAD TUESDAY earlier that year. The producer had read the script and expressed an interest in an October show, but didn't firm up any dates with me so I moved on to other matters. When I read about the show, all I could think was "Oh, no. Not again."
Submitting scripts to theaters can be dicey. Sometimes they respond, sometimes they don't. One can only hope they will do the honorable thing and not rip off the playwright especially since, gee whiz, it's against the law. I have to be extra vigilant by following up with those I've submitted to and checking their websites just in case something happens.
And, gosh darn it to heck, things do happen.
In the year 2000, a friend of mine congratulated me on the production LA RUE'S RETURN at the Gaslight Theater in Campbell, CA. I said, "Thank you. Wait a minute...WHAT????!!!" In the late 1980s, I had submitted this script to the Gaslight and never heard from them, even supplying them with SASE (look it up, kids) to return it upon rejection. They didn't. Instead, they tore off the title page that included the authors' names and scribbled the incorrect name THE RETURN OF LA RUE at the top of the next. Then they tossed into a box with a bunch of other scripts. Someone dug it out years later and said "Hey! Here's a melodrama we can do for free!". And so they did. I contacted my best friend, Ed Thorpe, who originated LA RUE and brought me on as a co-author, and he, understandably, hit the proverbial ceiling. Ed tore after the Gaslight like a rabid wolverine on meth and, thanks to his efforts, got us a nice settlement as well as, since the production was in full swing, an apology to the both of us enclosed in each and every program until its final curtain.
Cut to 2015 when MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER, then known as STAR TRUCK: THE WRATH OF COMIC-CON, was about to head into its first production with Mel O'Drama Theater in Nashville when another theater that I had solicited was about to do the very same show at their dinner theater in South Carolina without consent, written, verbal or even a nod of the head from me. But this time I didn't have a lift a finger since the long arm of the law slammed the door on this establishment and shut down the show before it opened. Oh, it wasn't for my benefit. It seems the owner/producer of this operation had sex with a 14 year old, who had been in one of his shows and could very well have been cast in mine. Said offender got caught with his pants down and, unfortunately, has since started another theater, though he could very well go into politics if recent events are any indication.
So I dodged another bullet until this year with the same damn show. When I contacted the producer, I got a string of apologies and a promise to pay what was owed. (My friend Ed thought I should charge them double for my trouble but I balked at that...this time) It was resolved in less than a week to clear up and the matter was settled. I won't mention the name of the group because they are going out of business at the end of this year and there's no reason for me to drag them through the mud. Strangely enough, all three of these violating theaters closed soon after their infractions, or in the case of the producer of the Pedophilia Follies in South Carolina, just before.
What still rankles me about this recent near-screw job, other than the obvious infraction, is that 5 shows in one year is a real accomplishment for me. As an independent playwright, I am marketing and soliciting my work all by my lonesome self, always on the look-out for anyone that will will want to put my babies on the boards. I am into this full time. It's like panning for gold and I have the nuggets to show for all my efforts. When I get the go ahead from a theater company, I have a tradition I perform every opening night. I have a glass boot, a gift from my step-daughter Tracey when she saw SONG OF THE CANYON KID at the Great American Melodrama and Vaudeville in in Oceano, CA. When a show opens, I fill the boot with a special craft beer and toast the theater as well as myself for the major personal victory it most certainly is. Unfortunately, I got robbed of that with this last show. I know, I know. Poor little me. But to have any score at all in the win column to is that spoonful of sugar helping the medicine go down. It's the balance that keeps me from falling over the edge, in the same manner my family and friends do as I mentioned above.
So much for all that spilt milk It's high time I put this behind me and hoist one high in the air to celebrate the five shows I have been fortunate to have produced in 2017 and to salute these fine theaters I have been honored to be associated with this year :
In this, the fourth year of establishing myself as an independent playwright, an uphill road to say the very least, I had three very special surprises that keep the fires stoked when the flames begin to flicker.
First off, Melanie Delbridge of Sugar High Theatricals in Galesburg, Illinois contacted me after finding DEAD TUESDAYon my online storefront and wished to produce it, appropriately enough, on Fat Tuesday back in February. Alas, the date was postponed and rescheduled for April, adding two additional performances. First off, finding the play to begin with harkens back to what began this whole process for me when The Great American Melodrama and Vaudeville discovered SONG OF THE CANYON KID back in 2012. After that, I met my angel and another Mel, Melanie Roady of Mel O'Drama Theater who commissioned me to pen my first murder mystery, THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS, a play I have since re-named DEAD TUESDAY, thanks to another angel, producer Jerri Wiseman of StageCoach Theatre.
Secondly, producer/director Roscoe of the San Luis Valley Theatre Company of Fort Garland, Colorado will present the second production of STAR TRUCK: THE WRATH OF COMIC-CON under its brand spanking new title MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER on the first weekend of June. Activate fist pump sequence...NOW!
If one of my plays is produced, I am obviously over the moon. However, I am in this for the long haul and prefer that these are not one night stands. In my insecure mind, one production is a fluke, but a second time around makes it legitimate. For example, SONG OF THE CANYON KID had its premiere at the late and legendary Palace Showboat Theatre in 1986. Once I put the script out there by self-publishing it, the second production did not occur until over 25 years later. The vindication for DEAD TUESDAY happened last year, two years after its initial offering. Now MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER becomes legit two years later as well.
Just to wrap this all up in a pretty bow, SONG OF THE CANYON KID will be the last production in series of melodramas this summer at the Mantorville Theatre Company in Minnesota, a group I have been soliciting every year since I first began marketing my plays. But thanks to Mantorville's Melisa Ferris pushing this through, my persistence-and pestering-has paid off.
There seems to be something about women named Mel that must transform them into theater angels. As for Jerri and Roscoe, I may have to call you Mel too. After all, who knows for whom the Mel tolls. It tolls for me.
February is the shortest month of the year. Of course you
did. You'd have to be a blithering idiot to date a check 2/30. That is, unless
you were going to the dentist. Wait for it...
February is also the month when my first show of the year
will be produced, a one night stand of DEAD TUESDAY (the play formerly known as
THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS). Sugar High Theatricals of Galesburg, Illinois is
staging this fairy tale murder mystery o' mine on the appropriate date...Feb.
28 which this year is Fat Tuesday, cher! Perfect for a Mardi Gras themed show
such as this. Laissez les bons temps rouler!
The Welsh call February "y mis bach" which means
"little month". Except no one can pronounce it. Except Tom Jones.
The best new show on TV currently is TABOO on FX starring my
current favorite actor Tom Hardy. There is not a single false note in this
brilliant show set in 19th century England, dark and dank as anything I've ever
seen. Runners-up are Netflix's THE CROWN (Peter Morgan is a god) and STRANGER THINGS, the best Stephen
King story not written by Stephen King. The latter includes my new favorite
actress, Millie Bobby Brown, quite the recommendation since I generally never
like child performers and she is positively extraordinary to the point that she
may even be extra-terrestrial. On the other end of the spectrum, Netflix's
SANTA CLARITA DIET is a stink bomb. Timothy Olyphant needs to be sedated and
Drew Barrymore is putrid in this unfunny, unfocused sit-com that is getting
raves from a very indiscriminate audience.
It is the third month of winter. In the Southern Hemisphere
February is a summer month the equivalent of August. After this winter, the
Southern hemisphere can kiss my frozen ass. (Sorry. The cold weather has made
me cranky.)
My birthday movie this year was the much-lauded LA LA LAND,
a wonderful choice if I do blog so myself. It's not perfect by any means, but
there are moments that touch pure magic, such as the last ten minutes, that
justify any kudos this has garnered thus far. It will indeed win a flock o'
Oscars, much like its closest comparison, THE ARTIST, from a few years ago. But
if I were to be perfectly honest, I would say that the similarly themed L.A.
STORY, written and starring Steve Martin, is the better film. Regardless of
that sleight, my movie-going experience was top notch especially when I decided
to attend a single screen cinema in Portland instead of a dreaded multi-plex, a
major reason my attendance has been so apathetic in the last few years. So dadgum
it, I treated myself and will do so again. Nyah.
The largest American sporting event the Super Bowl, is held
in February. Did I watch it? No, I totally boycotted the Super Bowl this year.
Of course, I never watch it to begin with, so it's not that much of a stand. I
did watch the half-time show on the YouTube and thought Lady Gaga crushed it.
If you didn't like Gaga's performance or want to comment on her supposed belly
fat, you can crowd in front of the Southern hemisphere and pucker up, you slimy
trolls.
The Saxon term for the month, Sol-monath, means "cake
month". This is because they offered cakes to the gods during this month.
So as the world continues to circle the drain, enjoy a piece of cake, Saxon-style. No, not in a Marie Antoinette way. Treat yourself. You need it. Maybe have some pie instead. Pie is good.
I'm nothing if not flexible. (Well, some will agree with the first part of that sentence. The second part is no longer possible. Damn you, Father Time!)
Earlier this year, the StageCoach Theatre Co. produced my interactive murder mystery THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS (you know, the froggy play set in New Orleans I penned a couple of years back) with the stipulation that they could change the title to something more marketable. Producer Jerri Wiseman came up with DEAD TUESDAY. I had no problem doing so, especially since I was in the process of altering my melodrama SONG OF THE LONE PRAIRIE to SONG OF THE CANYON KID to coincide with the book o' the same name.In fact, I liked DEAD TUESDAY so much, I made the change permanent. (Thanks again, Jerri.)
I went next to my second murder mystery, STAR TRUCK: THE WRATH OF COMIC-CON first produced last October in Nashville, TN with the Mel O'Drama Theater . The title is an okay pun that has probably been done to death elsewhere (I haven't checked. Too depressing if it's true. I'm very sensitive.) I went instead with MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER, a rather obvious choice but a boy's gotta do what he's gotta do. (I have no idea what that means)
And the plot remains the same...
BOLDLY GO WHERE NO MURDER HAS GONE BEFORE!
At a sci-fi convention reunion of the cult TV series STAR TRUCK, there is only one question on everyone's lips: Who killed Captain Kork? Could it be First Officer Mr. Spark? Maybe it's Carrie Fishwich, the blowsy actress from the rival franchise, STAR BOARS? And that alien over there...is that a raygun in its pocket or it just glad to see me? MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER is an interactive, intergalactic murder mystery comedy play with a cast of 3M/3F. Perfect for dinner or community theater audiences.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
DEWEY OSGOOD-Organizer
and host of Imaginacon, geek extraordinaire and proud of it. Finds himself in the unenviable position of solving
the murder, though he discovers his inner super-hero as a result.
WILSON CHADWICK-The
one and only Captain James T. Curt of the Star Freighter Innerthighs from the
cult TV show STAR TRUCK. He is brash, over-bearingly charming with a voracious
appetite for life and everything else for that matter. Considers himself the
center of the universe with everyone else as satellites orbiting about him.
JEAN RODDENREEL-Widow
of STAR TRUCK creator/producer Dean Roddenreel. Hollywood royalty in exile (and
denial) with champagne tastes on a beer budget. Had an illicit love affair with
Chadwick during the run of the series that produced a long-lost off-spring.
LEON PORTNOY-The
inimitable Mr. Spark, forever type-cast as first officer of the Innerthighs and
second banana to Wilson Chadwick which has made him bitter beyond belief. Now
works as Jean Roddenreel’s man servant.
CARRIE FISHWICH-Longtime
nemesis of Chadwick, co-star of rival franchise STAR BOARS. Loose cannon with a
hair trigger who blames Chadwick for all her personal failures. Social media
maniac.
ALIEN-Supposed
STAR TRUCK fan who may or may not be of this world, until Chadwick’s murder
when it is revealed this she is actually rising starlet and current geek icon (with
attitude to spare) NIRVANA NIGHTENGALE,
star of the hit TV series BATTLESTAR GALLIFREY
And to read excerpts from my other scripts and/or books (including RED ASPHALT and SONG OF THE CANYON KID), please go to my website WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY
Y'know, I heard that HAMLET was originally named THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A DANE. So, if re-titling was good enough for Bill Shakespeare, it's good enough for me.
Mr. Cherney, I've got some good news and I've got some bad news. Of course you do. That's how you people operate. You people?
Skip it. What's the good news?
Well, the good news is that for the third year in a row, your plays are being produced in various parts of the country.
That is good news. I'm afraid to ask. What's the bad news? You know that place you've been living for the past ten years? You're going to have to vacate in 90 days. Your landlords are kicking you to the curb.
Lovely. Just lovely. Looks like I've got the makings of a new melodrama.
Such is the year 2016 for your humble narrator, a shit storm with patches of intermittent sunbursts. This recent life development has made us just another goddamn casualty of the housing market feeding frenzy that's tearing up the greater Portland metro area and rest of the formerly free world. Our landlords ambushed us with the news that they have decided to put our home sweet home on the market this summer. A Seller's Market in this economy should be a good thing, but not for the flotsam and jetsam in this society that we suddenly find ourselves to be. One shouldn't really begrudge them this golden opportunity after the housing crisis, but this has created another housing crisis as a result: OURS. So I'm summoning up some old Hungarian black magic and putting a curse of this joint when we walk out the door for the last time, probably involving bleeding walls.On second thought, I'll wait until we got they return our deposit.
We're not alone in our currently miserable situation. Truth to tell, we could have gotten 30 days notice instead of 90 as so many have, but rent prices have skyrocketed and the rules of the game have been rigged against us...and apparently everyone else trying to find a place to live. In most scenarios, rental applicants must have income three times the rental price of even the dumpiest of dumps. The long slog of searching for the new Casa de Cherney continues on for forty days and forty nights with parking and burning bush available for an additional fee. But hey, everyone wants to show you their lovely clubhouse and fitness center, neither one you allowed to move into even though they make the actual living space a spider hole in comparison. Then there's the fluctuating rents that are up, down, flying around like the stock market so that what was quoted today will be another story entirely tomorrow even if it is a day away.
The initial anger over the whole situation hasn't diminished much, even with the brave face I am using to mask my true feelings. Soon panic will set in and that's never a good thing. The rug has pulled pulled out from under my wife and I, uncovering an open trap door on a Wile E. Coyote cliff over The Dreaded Depths of Despair. It won't be long before we start standing at freeway exits with cardboard signs that read: WILL WORK FOR RENTAL APPLICATION FEES
It's all so overwhelming and all encompassing, not to mention the fact that it is occurring at an extremely inopportune moment in time. (I don't know, kid. When exactly would be a more convenient time to get tossed out in the snow on your ass by Mr. and Mrs. Snidely Whiplash?)This prolific period of creativity I find myself in (aka The Final Push) is getting side-lined by this mess and the pause button is working overtime, adding to my frustration, stress levels and ever looming depression. But I'll be damned if I'm going to let this become another lame excuse for procrastination. The iron's hot and so am I. Not just under the collar either.
What's really keeping me afloat, besides the love of my life who is in the same rapidly sinking ship with me and the support of my family, is my continuing good fortune with my plays. No sooner did the StageCoach Theatre Company production of DEAD TUESDAY end that the Brazos Theatre Group in Waco, Texas agreed to produce SONG OF THE LONE PRAIRIE over Memorial Day weekend. That will be the last time the show will go under that title for in July, Theatre Suburbia in Houston, Texas (a Lone Star two-fer!) had agreed to stage the same show under that thar other title, SONG OF THE CANYON KID as their summer mellerdrammer (their word, not mine.) This will be the name of that particular script going forward and I begin a re-branding process I should have started a year ago.
On top of all that, I am relaunching the novelization of SONG OF THE CANYON KID at Northwest Local, the Beaverton City Library's local author fair on May 21. I'll be doing a reading, selling my wares and try not to think about what freeway underpass I may be sleeping under soon. Gotta keep my pecker up for that. (No, not that one.) Stiff upper lip and all that rot. It ain't easy. My mouth is cramping.
In the midst of this chaos, it's tough to gain perspective, but I think I have a handle on it, though my grip is slippery thanks to my sweaty palms.
I reckon I've been on the carousel for too long. It's a pleasant enough ride traveling in circles, not without its ups and downs if you decide to hop on a pony.But if you choose to sit in the swan, you can sit back and allow the passing world lull you into submission. And there lies the problem. The merry-go-round can lull you into a false sense of security, dulling your senses and ultimately making you the one thing you can't afford to be in today's world: vulnerable. And when you're yanked off the carousel and thrust into the driver's seat of a bumper car and discover the steering wheel is missing, forcing you to get out and hitchhike. Wait until you get on the roller coaster. Some of the tracks are missing.
You know what? I'm sick of this goddamn carnival. The rides suck, the games are rigged and the hot dog on a stick has splinters. It's time to shake it off, regain our footing and quit acting like victims. We ain't down and out, but we have been knocked for a loop by a sucker punch out of nowhere. But we're gonna keep a'comin'. We're the people that live. They can't wipe us out. They can't lick us. We'll go on forever 'cuz we're the people!
Oh boy. I've turned into Ma Joad. But I'm okay with that. I can go all Howard Beale too. That's a righteous combination in my book. More importantly, I gotta be me. I'm dead serious when I say that this is Cherney's Last Stand and I'll be damned if I'm going let this get in my way . There's no way in Heaven, Hell or Hillsboro that this thing is over yet.
It's yin and yang, yang and yin. If it ain't yin, it's yang, vice versa and simultaneously. They seem to be on equal footing at the moment, which at least allows me some semblance of balance in this mine field. Then again, this could all very well be a knockdown, drag-out fight for the ownership of my soul. But I'm not going to stand on the sidelines while it all goes down. I'm throwing down the gauntlet myself and declaring this triple threat match because I'm stepping back into the ring.
In the words of Yogi Berra, Lenny Kravitz and the fat lady getting ready to sing at the opera, it ain't over 'til it's over.
In the words of Leon Russell, "Don't get hung up about
Easter."
This has never been one of my favorite
holidays. I'm not religious, the buffets suck ass and I'm just not into pastel colors. Maybe my disdain for this holiday goes back to my childhood.
We had an Easter egg hunt in the backyard of my cousin's house. I found the golden egg. This meant I got the special prize: My very own goldfish and a little can of fish food. We put him a bowl of his own when we got home and before I went to bed, I told him,
"When you live with me, you're gonna eat good." (Don't correct my grammar. I was six.)
I then turned the can of food upside and emptied at least a third of it into the bowl. The next morning, he was floating at the top of the bowl sideways. DOA. I wanted to name him Floaty, but I ended up flushing him instead.
Fast forward to this Easter Sunday 2016, I hereby make the
following proclamation. The interactive
murder-mystery formerly known as THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS will officially known from this day forward as DEAD TUESDAY. (see previous blog post). This joins SONG OF THE CANYON KID (aka LONE PRAIRIE) as I reboot these projects for more exposure and marketability. Lastly, I have decided to change STAR TRUCK: THE WRATH OF COMIC-CON to MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER for the same reasons. The other plays-LA RUE'S RETURN and THE LEGEND OF THE ROGUE remain the same with no other title changes in the works. I've had to do this with a long gestating project that originally had the name CHEAP THRILLS. As the years have gone by, some have other books and movies with same moniker (and similar plot devises...ughhh....) have popped up and basically gone away. Still I felt the need to convert this to a new 'un and golly gosh if it hasn't given me the gumption to actually get back to work and complete this 'afore I'm daid in the ground. There are couple of more plays in the works too, one I finished a major re-write this last weekend and another down the line, so stay glued to your screens for these announcements. No. Seriously. Glued.
This post was partially created usually voice to text technology which I am hoping will be an important tool in my immediate future. What keeps me from being more prolific as I should be is that I am one of the world's slowest typists. The creation of all of my works have been with two fingers. Yes, I still write in long-hand as well. I have dozens of notebooks from over the years that need to be transcribed in order for me to continue. I need all the help I can get and the clock is ticking. As it stands now, if I lose the use of either of my fingers for any reason, I am totally sca-rewed. Hopefully, nobody will punch me in the nose. (Wait for it)
Well, I've got eggs to open. Hopefully, I got some panty hose this year.
Goddamn it, I'm old. And I still miss Floaty.
For more info about my plays, please visit my website WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY or my Facebook author also known as WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY because I am basically a one trick pony. (No, I'm not interested in a little pony play. The bridle is always too tight.)
The StageCoach Theatre Company's next production is an interactive murder mystery written by yours truly entitled DEAD TUESDAY. The show will be performed over the next month in venues around Virginia and the Washington, DC metro area, previously uncharted territory for one of my shows.
DEAD TUESDAY is not a new script of mine. It has been re-titled from its original, THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS, which debuted in 2014 (see previous post: CROAK AND DAGGER) If this is the first you've heard of it, the show tells the tale of an international philanthropist playboy who is the one who can solve the mystery of a prominent New Orlenas socialite during Mardi Gras, even though he's hampered by his own problems. A voodoo curse is turning him into a frog. Yep, it's a strange story to say the least. Most of the characters are based on the paintings of artist Jann Harrison. I was commissioned by Melanie Roady of Mel O'Drama Theater in Nashville to create a script using her creations and voila, here it is. It is such an odd duck of a show, I had my doubts whether or not it would see the light of a stage again. But thanks to Jerri Wiseman of StageCoach Theatre Company, Francois hops again.
Jerri asked if I would consider a name change since the original isn't very marketable. This is something I've toyed with myself, using the rather awful but compromised alternative MARDI GRAS MAYHEM in my own solicitations. This being a purely commercial venture, I'm totally flexible with this change and have no problem with her suggestion of DEAD TUESDAY (a riff on Mardi Gars' Fat Tuesday). Back in 2013, the Great American Melodrama asked to change the title of my melo from SONG OF THE LONE PRAIRIE to TALES OF THE CANYON KID. I opted for SONG OF THE CANYON KID to coincide with the novel version I had just published. (That play will now be known by that title alone) Theaters wishing to make changes to a work should be flown by the author and I appreciate the integrity of an organization having the respect to do so, especially for an independent like myself.
So welcome back, Francois. Let the good times croak.
For more information of the StageCoach Theatre Company production of DEAD TUESDAY, visit their website at stagecoachtc.comand their Facebook page
To read an excerpt or find more information about DEAD TUESDAY aka THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS, go to my website. WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY
Performance rights are available. For more info, e-mail at writtenbysc@gmail.com
.jpg)
