My first solo script, written WAY back in the latter part of the 20th century and produced on the stage of the late, great Palace Showboat Dinner Theater at Pollardville in Stockton, California, has just been published by Off the Wall Plays.
This is my third script to be picked up by Off the Wall after the tropical adventure comedy ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS and the interactive murder mystery MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER.
I hereby present to you...THE LEGEND OF THE ROGUE or MASK ME NO QUESTIONS.
Hard times have fallen on the Clayfoot Indiantribe with the arrival of Randolph Hitlear, an ex-Confederate general obsessed with idea of starting a second Civil War under his leadership. To finance this effort, Hitlear searches for the Clayfoot's mountain treasure, the Tomb of Gold. With the help of his dastardly henchmen, Ashley and Rhett, Hitlear forces the tribe into slavery to dig for the gold including the Clayfoot leader, Chief Boyardee. His daughter, Fawn, is a mystic who has the ability to speak to the Great Spirits. From them she learns of a prophecy that states that "the dark cloud of evil shall ride a warrior of good who shall become a savior". With that thought in mind, Fawn seeks the help of Brian Ryan in nearby Parched Throat, Arizona, a handsome young lawyer who moonlights as sheriff of this one lizard town. Brian falls in love with Fawn at first glance, raising the ire of saloon singer Sugar De Spice who wants to put her claws into the novice lawman herself. When the sheriff agrees to help, a jealous Sugar, along with the weasely corrupt Indian agent Percival P. Pestt, inform Hitlear. Laying in wait for the sheriff, Hitlear gets the upper hand upon Brian's arrival and in the fracas, Fawn is killed. When Brian is left for dead himself in the desert, Sugar has a change of heart and rescues him. Back in town, Fawn's spirit comes to him in his delirium and empowers Brian with special abilities given to him by the Great Spirits since he is indeed the warrior of good in the prophecy. Brian dons a mask and adopts the persona of the masked avenger known as The Rogue. He catches up to Hitlear just as he enters the fabled Tomb of Gold and thwarts his plans once and for all, saving the Clayfoot tribe and the nation from this vicious war criminal. And the rest is legendary...
Performance rights are available for both professional and amateur theater productions including community groups, dinner shows, fundraising events, high school and college drama departments.
The hits keep right on a'comin'! Maybe because they've been stacked up like planes over La Guardia for the last year and a half. Whatever the reason, I'm glad they're landing now.
Translation: I have three separate productions of the same show this summer, the interactive murder mystery known far and (sort of wide) as MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER. This riff on STAR TREK and everything geeky has turned out to be very lucrative for yours truly, now the second popular play in my meager catalog. Not bad for something that I thought might not get any further than its first production or in other words: one and done.
But I'm glad to say (at least on this point) that I'm wrong again. Here's the lineup, 1-2-3.
1. On the last weekend in June, SanZman Productions in the Los Angeles area, who also staged DEAD TUESDAY for me, runs THE FINAL FRONTIER as a dinner theater show for two big performances.
2. In July, my buddy Roscoe with The San Luis Valley Theatre Company in Colorado will produce my show as a one-time event-the second time for this theater (another first!)-for a FREE one night only virtual event on July 24.
3. And my first production sold in conjunction with my new publisher, Off the Wall Plays, will be a benefit for Stars Unlimited in Liberty, MO.
This script, which saw the light of day as STAR TRUCK: THE WRATH OF COMIC-CON, thanks to my theater angel, Melanie Roady at her Mel O'Drama Theater in Nashville, was, what I perceived to be fluke. Then again, I felt that way about DEAD TUESDAY, my other murder mystery. So why haven't I written another? Well, I've got some ideas for one, maybe two but possibly three scripts. Even though I'm still working on my book (here we go again), I hope to have something...ANYTHING...put together by the end of summer. If I give myself a deadline, I'm telling myself (and you) that I can do it. So, by Labor Day, one new script. Fingers crossed, thumbs held and cross heart and hope to spit.
Until then, warp drive, Mr. Sulu! Beam me up, Scotty! And put your damn ears down, Spock!
At long last, it looks like we're coming out of this mess we've all been in this over the last year and change. I don't have to remind you of the effect all of this has had on the world. We're still in the midst of it, even though things are getting better. The abundance of vaccinations, the slow, but sure removal of masks and a return to, maybe not life as we knew it, but at least a reasonable facsimile until it all levels out.
There has been a lot of devastating loss of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness along the way and now is the time to start gaining some of it back. The Arts, thought of as non-essential and expendable, has been decimated to the point of near-extinction. Basically, whatever involved a gathering of people, namely an audience, has almost gone to the way of the Dodo. One has to merely look what it has done to the theater community, both professional and amateur. By sheer will and stubborn determination, it's ready to return.
So what happens going forward?
If theater groups have the freedom to a launch a full-scale production before a packed audience, more power to them. Unfortunately, that is not an option right now many out there and it still may be awhile before that can be a reality, a slower process than desired.
Several innovative theaters out there have been adapting to these weird times, discovering new ways to get on with the show once again. Some have mounted productions with casts utilizing PPE face shields. Others have staged drive-in performances, utilizing the same technology used for drive-in movie theaters. Then of course, there have been productions on video conference platforms like Zoom, reader's theater and radio shows for podcasts. These can be monetized to bring in some necessary revenue.
It's that "never say die" attitude, ignited by the passion for theater that will keep the spirit of live performances alive and kicking until the time is right to get back on the boards and get back to whatever the heck "normal" is supposed to be.
After that long-winded prelude, I am proud to announce that the first show I ever shepherded as a playwright representative (or agent, if you will) is about to finally hit the boards. THE CASE OF THE MYSTERIOUS CRAVAT, an interactive murder mystery written by the inimitable Michael K. Young, will be staged both outdoors as an afore-mentioned drive-in presentation and indoors on Sundays by the incredible Rogue Theater in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin on June 4-6 and 25-27. This same show was all set go last year at this time and had to be canceled at the very last moment because, well, you know. BUT, the Rogue still held hope they would produce CRAVAT one day...and now that day has come. The truly amazing thing is that it has the same exact cast as last year. What, were they kept in a cryogenic chamber or something?
I've written about theater angels I've had in the past, those that have given me chances and opportunities to continue down this path that has opened up for me. Lola DeVillers of the Rogue Theater is one of those people, being true to her word that she wanted to produce Mike's script makes her an angel in my eyes and I'll gladly share her with Mr. Young.
Speaking of which, a hearty congratulations to Mr. Michael K. Young on this, his sophomore production (after its debut with another terrific theater group StageCoach Theatre Company) of his original script. Cheers to you, Mike!
That's not all. I've just received word that my script, MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER is coming back as well with a possible three different productions and CASE OF THE MYSTERIOUS CRAVAT may get a second go-around come Christmastime. Stay tuned.
The pause button, which had been deployed for the last year, is now off. Let's disconnect the bloody thing and keep moving forward. If there's one thing we've learned in all this is to recognize how both fragile and resilient we can be. As long as we recognize our strengths and work through our weaknesses, we're going to make it after all. (Thank you, Mary Tyler Moore)
For more information about CASE OF THE MYSTERIOUS CRAVAT including performance rights, contact me: writtenbysc@gmail.com
In the words of the Wicked Witch of the West,
"Oh, what a world....what a world..."
Yeah, it's gone nuts out there alright. I should say it's already gone nuts and now it's just flat out insane. The pandemic they've been warning us about forever and a day is now upon us and what do we do? Hoard toilet paper. Yeah, we're fine. Lordy lordy, what is we gonna do?
I have two perspectives, not because I'm bi-polar or bi-coastal for that matter. I'm more BOGO as in Bi One Get One. I'm also spinning off the rails so bear with me as I attempt to put two thoughts together and come up with a blog.
On one hand, I have what is known as my day job, the one that pays most of the bills and that, my dear friends, is in the healthcare field. I am, as the main character in my book, RED ASPHALT, a laboratory courier. That means I pick up and deliver, among other things, blood, urine and other bodily fluids for my employer's clinical lab. Naturally, we have been testing for Covid-19 at the hospitals and clinics in our network. Hooray. I'm on the front lines. Of course, we've been bombarded by tons of information regarding this outbreak and guess what? We still don't know what the hell we're doing, making it up as we go along. On Friday, I couldn't get that goddamn HBO mini-series CHERNOBYL out of my head. I began to feel like one of the first responders to that clusterfuck. "Boris, go down to the core and clean up. Take this mop. Hold your breath. You will be fine." The stress has just begun and my own melt-down is imminent.
My other job, actually my vocation, is an independent writer, a fashionable term for someone w/o representation. Among my works are pieces for the theater, though that's a catch-all phrase as well. I write melodramas and interactive murder mysteries which have been fairly lucrative for yours truly in the past decade. This year alone, the first six months in fact, I had four productions scheduled, one having wrapped up just last month in Texas. However, everything is on hold as of this moment in time that changes by the hour. Actors Studio Inc. has a scheduled benefit performance of MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER on March 21, the first in my adopted state of Oregon which was to be followed up by another the following Saturday. As of today, show #2 is cancelled. Another of the same show in the Los Angeles area is on hold while a production of SONG OF THE CANYON KID in Texas this May is up in the air, shall we say? Meanwhile, acting as another playwright's agent, I was able wrangle a production of Michael K. Young's CASE OF THE MYSTERIOUS CRAVAT, a major coup, I felt. However, at this writing, a show set for two weeks hence is suddenly a big question mark. When it suddenly dawns on you that the survival of this particular art form is predicated on putting butts in seats, it's time to rethink your options. And in terms of survival itself, it's a lose-lose proposition. Social distancing. That's not entertainment.
(UPDATE: Actors Theater Inc. cancelled their March 21 show on 3/16. The next day, the Rogue Theater pulled the plug on THE CASE OF THE MYSTERIOUS CRAVAT and, alas and alack, SONG OF THE CANYON KID is a no-go in Texas this year)
My problems, especially of the latter, are comparatively minor and I acknowledge that. People are sick and dying, businesses and facilities are closing left and right and the world is on lockdown. On the other hand, which I continually wash for twenty seconds at a time, the former, meaning that dreaded day job, is disconcerting because it also boils down to the same thing, spouted by that wise sage Donald Rumsfeld, former Secretary of Defense of the good ol' US of A:
"There are known knowns; there are things that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know."
What a soothsayer. That was 18 years ago. Match that up with anything that's been spouted in the last couple of weeks and you've got yourself The New Reality.
Tomorrow I head back into the void. It's another day and the sun will come out. Everything else is anybody's guess. Hopefully, the answer won't be blowing in the wind. I can only hold my breath for so long.
Take care, people. We'll meet again. Don't know where. Don't know when.
A few years back, a project fell into my lap, the strangest theatrical venture with which I've been involved, and one that I believed to be a one-shot wonder. Hence, the tale of Francois Fibian, a bon vivant from New Orleans that solves a murder mystery as he's turning into a frog (?!) Yup, that's the premise DEAD TUESDAY, formerly known as THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS began back in 2014.
(see previous post: CROAK AND DAGGER: A FROG BLOG) Thanks to an angel named mel Roady in Nashville, I got my first script commission for an interactive murder mystery, a genre I never attempted before.
While I am proud of the end result, I never expected FRANCOIS to see the light of day again. That
didn't stop me from submitting it to theaters here, there and everywhere, especially after Mel produced yet another original script STAR TRUCK: THE WRATH OF COMIC-CON (now re-named MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER) the following year. That show I felt had the most potential for future productions and I was (initially) proven right. LO and behold, the StageCoach Theatre Company agreed to stage FRANCOIS a second time. (WHUT?) Producer Jerri Wiseman asked my permission to change the name of the show to the more marketable title DEAD TUESDAY. I liked it enough to keep it. (see previous post: DEAD TUESDAY) A year later, a third production was mounted in Illinois which made me believe that this show is indeed legit. One production is a fluke, two, a blessing, three,no longer a bastard.
After a several dozen inquiries (and a few publication rejections which is why I done did myself), I heard from TWO separate companies on both sides of the country that wanted to mount productions in 2019.
First up, the Rogue Theater in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin has seven performances scheduled at various venues in their area beginning April 3.
This fall, Francois will hop across the country, SanZman Productions will stage the West Coast premiere of DEAD TUESDAY in the Los Angeles area beginning in October.
So to the Rogue Theater and SanZman Productions, I thank you, Francois thanks you and most of all...Break a flipper.
For the last five years, I have had the great fortune to have scripts that I have written, those in the genre of melodrama and interactive murder mystery, produced with the theater companies across the great US of A.
This year is no exception (hence the 5 year anniversary-DUH) with two separate shows playing on the very same weekend.
First up (because they were first in line and had dibs) is the Rio Linda Elverta Community Theater in Rio Linda, California is presenting the *CALIFORNIA PREMIERE* of MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER on June 22 and 23 as a dinner theater presentation just as it first began. This is also the fifth production of this show, formerly known as STAR TRUCK: THE WRATH OF COMIC-CON. (see previous blog post: BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY)
Next up, Mt. Vernon Community Theatre in Mt. Vernon, Missouri will produce the one and only melodrama LA RUE'S RETURN or HOW'S A BAYOU?, written by Edward Thorpe and myself, on June 22, 23, and 24 as, get this, kids, a *READER'S THEATER* presentation, a first for this here melo. (I'm getting a little wonky wit these asterisks, eh?) This is also the second production out of California AND the second in Missouri.. We're apparently hot stuff in the Show Me state. (More about LA RUE, see previous post: THE RETURN OF LA RUE'S RETURN)
The significance of the boots filled with beer is a tradition I started five years back when my step-daughter Tracey bought me a souvenir boot mug when she and my granddaughter Kardena saw my show SONG OF THE CANYON KID at the Great American Melodrama Theater in Oceano, CA where my five year run began in 2014. Since then, whenever a show of mine goes on the boards, I fill the mug with a delicious, frothy and special selection beer of choice and toast the theater in question on their opening night. This time around, I'll toast RLECT on Friday night, Mt. Vernon CT on Saturday. A two-fer.
I am humbled and extremely grateful to each and every one of the fine theater companies and groups that have produced my work over the past half decade. If this it, then it's been a great ride. If not, then the boot gets re-filled and I shall drink a toast the next theater once again.
CHEERS!
And to Rio Linda Elverta Community Theater and Mt. Vernon Community Theatre...
THANK YOU
and most of all...
BREAK A LEG!
Perfromance rights are available for LA RUE'S RETURN and MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER.
For more information or to read excerpts from either scripts or any other o' mine for that matter, visit my website WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY
You can also contact me directly (unless you are an Ethiopian prince) at:
writtensc@gmail.com
Finally coming out of my hibernation unit to live whatever life I've got left. (That's another benefit of age. You can get as bleak as you want as time passes and nobody bats an eye.) But it's springtime, y'all! Love is in the air and so is an assload of pollen. But don't let me rain on your parade...oops. I'm in Oregon. It rains on our frickin' parades all the time. It's like living in the rain forest. Except with parades.
I had the honor once again to see my friend Grant-Lee Phillips when his tour with Kristin Hersh blew through Portland. I sat in awe with my buddy Bob Gossett as we witnessed this amazingly talented singer/songwriter mesmerize his audience with that distinctively soulful voice of his echoing through the halls of the Old Church concert venue. (The Old Church is literally that: an old church. And they serve alcohol. because it's Portland.) Grant's latest album, WIDDERSHINS, has just been released, and is almost a call-back to his previous incarnation with his band Grant Lee Buffalo. I haven't heard him rock out like this in quite awhile. From what I've read, he recorded this four freaking days in what must have been a real purge. Grant's songs were inspired by-or should I say a rebuttal to-current events. The song that resonates with me the most is "The Wilderness", though I can say the same for "Master of Catastrophes" and the sensational anthem "Liberation". After wrapping up his US tour, Grant's off to Europe and Australia.There's something super human about this guy.
Taking a couple of much needed days off to regroup and recharge before I regurgitate, nothing gets me back to where I want to be more than a good film experience and this time was no exception. My movie of choice was Wes Anderson's stop motion masterwork ISLE OF DOGS, a delight from beginning until end, Nobody makes films like Anderson and I am so glad to live in the same world that he does. If I didn't know better, I would say that he makes films just for me and me alone. Shot n the same manner as his adaptation of Roald Dahl's THE FANTASTIC MR.FOX, this fable is a riff on dystopia, pets. Japan and loyalty with that ever meticulous Wes Anderson flair.
This cherry on top of this banana split called 2018 is that the Rio Linda Elverta Community Theater in California is producing MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER the first weekend in June. Even though this is the only booking I have this year (so far), I consider it a gift that keeps on giving and I am extremely grateful for this opportunity. More about this later, but for now...HUZZAH!
We now return you to our regularly scheduled reality already in progress.
In Twenty Seventeen The world turned really mean And it seemed to me It was way beyond repair Oh I'll never look back and wonder Cuz I really just don't care
Okay. I'm not a lyricist. Sue me. No, don't. In this day and age, you probably will. Plus I do care. Probably too much.
Without a full year-end review because you can find that anywhere else, I will only say that, at its worst, 2017 seemed like a sneak preview of the post-Apocalypse. Can anyone say Dystopia Now? At its best, we're still here. Get used to it. We human beings are a pretty resilient bunch, that's for sure. And we'll persevere. Because, as Ma Joad once said, "We're the people."
Instead of moaning and groaning about the past, present and future, I choose to celebrate 2017 because, guess what, it wasn't all bad. Here are some of the better things-17 in fact- that happened to me this year-personally, professionally and culturally.
PERSONALLY
Celebrated 20 year anniversary with my beautiful wife, Laurie
Turning grandpahood into an art-form, watching my grandson Sebastian graduate from high school with honors and enter college, then traveling to Denver to witness my spectacular granddaughter Aefa on stage for her theater camp performance of Hair Salon Disaster. Finally, wrapping up the year in the prettiest of bows when I discovered I am becoming a grandpa AGAIN. Yes!
PROFESSIONALLY
In 2017, I had five stage productions of my plays, a new personal best. MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER was performed with three separate theater companies. SONG OF THE CANYON KID finally made it onto the stage of the Mantorville Theatre Co. in Minnesota after four years of me bugging the hell out of them. They even filmed one of their shows, available on the YouTube. Take a look-see for yourself.
While I haven't completed anything new for 2017, I did combine two of my melodramas, LEGEND OF THE ROGUE and ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS into one volume I oh-so cleverly call A DOUBLE SHOT OF HA-HA, a companion piece for the two murder mysteries called A DOUBLE SHOT OF MURDER. Next year, a third in the series called A DOUBLE SHOT OF NO NEW IDEAS.
CULTURALLY
My birthday movie this year was LA LA LAND that I took in at a sweet little neighborhood cinema in Portland called the Moreland. I enjoyed the film (with reservations) but it was more about the experience, a treat I gave myself. Recently I took in THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MO., another fine film with which I have some issues, although it was an afternoon well worth spending playing with the reclining seats.
Way too much good TV (it's getting to be a dangerous obsession) with my very favorite being TABOO with my fave rave Tom Hardy. I'll also include the hoot known as FEUD, BETTER THINGS with my girlfriend Pamela Adlon, THE LEFTOVERS with my other gal pal Ann Dowd, MINDHUNTERS, GODLESS w/Jeff Daniels and oh so many more that I'll have to enter them below.
The best all around season in recent memory for DOCTOR WHO was a fitting send-off for both Dr. 13 Peter Capaldi and show-runner Steven Moffat. Whiny geeks have been bitching about Moffat for eons. Now they can complain about everything else. And they will. Trust me. Moffat was my entry drug into this show and I will be eternally grateful.
Peter Morgan's writing on THE CROWN gives me a reason to live.
Another Morgan, Jeffrey Dean to be exact, is the finest villain in recent memory as THE WALKING DEAD's Negan. Whatever shortcoming the show has lately, JDM is crushing it each and every time he appears. And I tire of the death knell the former fans are ringing for this show. Shut up. Move on. Get another show. Hate watching is for morons.
After a terrible personal tragedy, Patton Oswalt rebounded with his hilarious and moving Netflix stand-up special, ANNIHILATION.
With a year that included both Paul Auster's 4321 and Michael Chabon's MOONGLOW, the finest fiction I read this year had to be Francine Prose's MISTER MONKEY, a multi-character comic tale revolving around a children's theater performance. It warmed my heart like no other.
Non-fiction wise, the hands down winner was Kliph Nesroff's superb history of stand up comedy THE COMEDIANS.
Some nice tunes this year with local favorite Portugal the Man's catchy ditty I FEEL IT STILL a good listen as well as Awol Nation's WOMAN WOMAN. If I have to be honest, I have to go with The Revivalists' WISH I KNEW YOU as my pick o' the year. It had a good beat and I could dance to it. Plus the nostalgic paigns of new love in an older life hits me in the sweet spot.
A monumental day at the Denver Art Museum for their incredible exhibition ONCE UPON A TIME...THE WESTERN: A NEW FRONTIER IN ART AND FILM. I was in hog heaven. (I just rejoined the the Portland Art Museum, so expect see some kudos going that-away next year)
Nothing compares to the restaurant experience-food, service, ambience- at the New Orleans' style bistro ACADIA in Portland. I'm still salivating over that meal.
I have been searching for a perfect every day beer for years now and I found it this year. Silver Moon Brewery of Bend, Oregon gave the world-and me, in particular-this fine beverage. Chapter 2 Casual Ale. it is what I will consume come midnight on New Year's.
Finally, my good friend and benefactor Melanie Roady, formerly of Mel O' Drama Theater, gifted me with the original latex head of Francois Fibian from the original production of THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS (now known as DEAD TUESDAY) Created by master mask maker David Knezz, he is true work of art and I'm proud to own him for more reasons than one. Francois sits above my front door, reminding of me who I am and what I can do. Now all I have to do...is do it.
That's what 2018 is all about. Let's do it, people. Otherwise, we have to blame no one but ourselves. Time's a-wastin' and waits for no man, woman or child. The only thing you have to lose is yourself-and that's the whole ballgame.
Happy New Year, I mean it. Let's reboot and start 2018 on, if not a positive, at least a willing note. It's time we took back our lives. We either surrendered or cowered in fear when the Empire struck back and snatched it away. We have to fight back. Our very survival-physically, mentally, morally- depends on it.
Bring on the 2018.
Full steam ahead.
Fire in the hole, kids.
Now comes the time of year where we actually acknowledge those things in our lives for which we are indeed grateful because, Heaven forfend, we should do it a daily basis to counter-balance the seemingly endless avalanche of horrible stuff 'n nonsense we also have to contend with in this, what used to be known as the best of all possible worlds.
(Whew! At this age, even run-on sentences wear me out!)
As always, I am eternally thankful to win the life lottery with the family and friends that I have in this lifetime. I would say that it goes without saying, but they humble me into welcome submission every time. As time passes like a bullet train, I will proclaim love for my family until my dying breath. As for my friends, I still cherish our time together and long for more even as it becomes more impossible logistically.
As for my recent success with my plays, (alas, so much more lucrative than my books) my unprecedented fourth year has wrapped up this past Halloween. SONG OF THE CANYON KID was the grand finale of the summer melodrama program at the Mantorville Theatre Company in Minnesota, a group I had been trying to get my work into long before I began this journey. DEAD TUESDAY, my initial murder mystery featuring the inimitable froggy bon vivant Francois Fibian, got another run, this time in Illinois. And MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER received an amazing three separate productions in the aforementioned Illinois as well as with the San Luis Valley Theatre Company in Fort Garland, Colorado and Brickstreet Players in Clovis, New Mexico. That breaks my personal best of five productions in four different states.
It came with a price, though.
I discovered that THE FINAL FRONTIER had been staged without my knowledge or permission at the same time it was being presented in New Mexico. I had been following up with some theaters that I had sent my script by checking their websites or Facebook pages when lo and behold, what do I see? MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER went on-and off-the boards the week before, exactly at the same time as the Brickstreet Players production on the other side of the country. It was then and there that I discovered the true meaning of the term "gob-smacked". The weird part was that the guilty party was a company that had produced DEAD TUESDAY earlier that year. The producer had read the script and expressed an interest in an October show, but didn't firm up any dates with me so I moved on to other matters. When I read about the show, all I could think was "Oh, no. Not again."
Submitting scripts to theaters can be dicey. Sometimes they respond, sometimes they don't. One can only hope they will do the honorable thing and not rip off the playwright especially since, gee whiz, it's against the law. I have to be extra vigilant by following up with those I've submitted to and checking their websites just in case something happens.
And, gosh darn it to heck, things do happen.
In the year 2000, a friend of mine congratulated me on the production LA RUE'S RETURN at the Gaslight Theater in Campbell, CA. I said, "Thank you. Wait a minute...WHAT????!!!" In the late 1980s, I had submitted this script to the Gaslight and never heard from them, even supplying them with SASE (look it up, kids) to return it upon rejection. They didn't. Instead, they tore off the title page that included the authors' names and scribbled the incorrect name THE RETURN OF LA RUE at the top of the next. Then they tossed into a box with a bunch of other scripts. Someone dug it out years later and said "Hey! Here's a melodrama we can do for free!". And so they did. I contacted my best friend, Ed Thorpe, who originated LA RUE and brought me on as a co-author, and he, understandably, hit the proverbial ceiling. Ed tore after the Gaslight like a rabid wolverine on meth and, thanks to his efforts, got us a nice settlement as well as, since the production was in full swing, an apology to the both of us enclosed in each and every program until its final curtain.
Cut to 2015 when MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER, then known as STAR TRUCK: THE WRATH OF COMIC-CON, was about to head into its first production with Mel O'Drama Theater in Nashville when another theater that I had solicited was about to do the very same show at their dinner theater in South Carolina without consent, written, verbal or even a nod of the head from me. But this time I didn't have a lift a finger since the long arm of the law slammed the door on this establishment and shut down the show before it opened. Oh, it wasn't for my benefit. It seems the owner/producer of this operation had sex with a 14 year old, who had been in one of his shows and could very well have been cast in mine. Said offender got caught with his pants down and, unfortunately, has since started another theater, though he could very well go into politics if recent events are any indication.
So I dodged another bullet until this year with the same damn show. When I contacted the producer, I got a string of apologies and a promise to pay what was owed. (My friend Ed thought I should charge them double for my trouble but I balked at that...this time) It was resolved in less than a week to clear up and the matter was settled. I won't mention the name of the group because they are going out of business at the end of this year and there's no reason for me to drag them through the mud. Strangely enough, all three of these violating theaters closed soon after their infractions, or in the case of the producer of the Pedophilia Follies in South Carolina, just before.
What still rankles me about this recent near-screw job, other than the obvious infraction, is that 5 shows in one year is a real accomplishment for me. As an independent playwright, I am marketing and soliciting my work all by my lonesome self, always on the look-out for anyone that will will want to put my babies on the boards. I am into this full time. It's like panning for gold and I have the nuggets to show for all my efforts. When I get the go ahead from a theater company, I have a tradition I perform every opening night. I have a glass boot, a gift from my step-daughter Tracey when she saw SONG OF THE CANYON KID at the Great American Melodrama and Vaudeville in in Oceano, CA. When a show opens, I fill the boot with a special craft beer and toast the theater as well as myself for the major personal victory it most certainly is. Unfortunately, I got robbed of that with this last show. I know, I know. Poor little me. But to have any score at all in the win column to is that spoonful of sugar helping the medicine go down. It's the balance that keeps me from falling over the edge, in the same manner my family and friends do as I mentioned above.
So much for all that spilt milk It's high time I put this behind me and hoist one high in the air to celebrate the five shows I have been fortunate to have produced in 2017 and to salute these fine theaters I have been honored to be associated with this year :
Show of hands...
Who wants Death to take a holiday already?
Madre de dios, no sooner do we lose Carrie Fisher then we lose her mother, Debbie Reynolds the very next day?
2016's been a brutal year for celebrities, but I'm not about to do an In Memoriam post here. Leave it to the award shows, which are all running long this next year. What happened to the theory of 3? This year, it seems like they're dying in lots of 30.
The grief we feel over these icons, big and small, has only compounded the pain we've been feeling the entire 12 months...and every year that has led up to it. It make one want to shout:
"When are we going to be able to put something in the win column?"
But we have. Get a little perspective, would ya?
And for crying out loud, which you seem to be doing more often than not, stop being so goddamn over-sensitive? It ain't helping matters.
For example, when Carrie died this last week, Cinnabon posted this tweet that got underwear in a twist all around unsocial media.
The fact that it would have amused Carrie is beside the point.
It's YOUR feelings that matter.
(Portland's Voodoo Doughnuts also offered their salute to Princess Leia)
Then Steve Martin made some innocuous, but still heart-felt tweet of his own.
And people lost their minds all over again.
D.L. Hughley was next with this remark after Debbie kicked.
And Steve was able to get out of the line of fire so that D.L. could get lambasted.
That Twitter is the Devils Playground, people. Maybe there should be a Too Soon filter.
But before you get all crazy for much ado 'bout nuttin', know this.
Carrie Fisher wanted her own obituary to read that she "drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra."
Many outlets published it and I'm sure were drug over the coals.
I myself used Carrie and William Shatner's feud as fodder for my 2015 murder mystery comedy STAR TRUCK-THE WRATH OF COMIC-CON (since re-titled MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER), which premiered with the Mel O'Drama Theater company in Nashville. I called my character Carrie Fishwich (oh, clever boy), described as a boozy, blowsy writer/actress who became a suspect in the murder of Star Truck star Wilson Chadwick. A second company in Colorado had offered to stage a second production this next summer, but that was before Carrie's heart attack. What now? It's up to them, of course. When I completed the first draft of the script, Leonard Nimoy bought the farm and the show went on as promised six months later. Should this continue after the demise of Princess Leia? Sure. Why the hell not? It's a parody. A spoof. A poke in the ribs. It's comedy. She understood it. So should everyone else.
2016 seemed to be a non-stop pummeling from beginning until end. People are understandably very touchy because we're all battered and bruised. Even those who won in 2016 are too sore to complete a victory lap.We lost a lot, including some beloved icons and several favorites right up until the every end. (It's currently 2pm PST...hang on everybody!) But most of what we're feeling is misplaced anger. Put it in the right direction, kids. It hurts everyone when your aim is off. It's called collateral damage.
Take a deep breath, world.
If it means anything, I wish you...and me... a Happy New Year.
And believe it or not, I say this in all sincerity:
In the words of Leon Russell, "Don't get hung up about
Easter."
This has never been one of my favorite
holidays. I'm not religious, the buffets suck ass and I'm just not into pastel colors. Maybe my disdain for this holiday goes back to my childhood.
We had an Easter egg hunt in the backyard of my cousin's house. I found the golden egg. This meant I got the special prize: My very own goldfish and a little can of fish food. We put him a bowl of his own when we got home and before I went to bed, I told him,
"When you live with me, you're gonna eat good." (Don't correct my grammar. I was six.)
I then turned the can of food upside and emptied at least a third of it into the bowl. The next morning, he was floating at the top of the bowl sideways. DOA. I wanted to name him Floaty, but I ended up flushing him instead.
Fast forward to this Easter Sunday 2016, I hereby make the
following proclamation. The interactive
murder-mystery formerly known as THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS will officially known from this day forward as DEAD TUESDAY. (see previous blog post). This joins SONG OF THE CANYON KID (aka LONE PRAIRIE) as I reboot these projects for more exposure and marketability. Lastly, I have decided to change STAR TRUCK: THE WRATH OF COMIC-CON to MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER for the same reasons. The other plays-LA RUE'S RETURN and THE LEGEND OF THE ROGUE remain the same with no other title changes in the works. I've had to do this with a long gestating project that originally had the name CHEAP THRILLS. As the years have gone by, some have other books and movies with same moniker (and similar plot devises...ughhh....) have popped up and basically gone away. Still I felt the need to convert this to a new 'un and golly gosh if it hasn't given me the gumption to actually get back to work and complete this 'afore I'm daid in the ground. There are couple of more plays in the works too, one I finished a major re-write this last weekend and another down the line, so stay glued to your screens for these announcements. No. Seriously. Glued.
This post was partially created usually voice to text technology which I am hoping will be an important tool in my immediate future. What keeps me from being more prolific as I should be is that I am one of the world's slowest typists. The creation of all of my works have been with two fingers. Yes, I still write in long-hand as well. I have dozens of notebooks from over the years that need to be transcribed in order for me to continue. I need all the help I can get and the clock is ticking. As it stands now, if I lose the use of either of my fingers for any reason, I am totally sca-rewed. Hopefully, nobody will punch me in the nose. (Wait for it)
Well, I've got eggs to open. Hopefully, I got some panty hose this year.
Goddamn it, I'm old. And I still miss Floaty.
For more info about my plays, please visit my website WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY or my Facebook author also known as WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY because I am basically a one trick pony. (No, I'm not interested in a little pony play. The bridle is always too tight.)
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