See Ya, '17!

(sung to the tune of I Saw Her Standing There)

In Twenty Seventeen
The world turned really mean
And it seemed to me
It was way beyond repair

Oh I'll never look back and wonder
Cuz I really just don't care

Okay. I'm not a lyricist. Sue me. No, don't. In this day and age, you probably will. Plus I do care. Probably too much.

Without a full year-end review because you can find that anywhere else, I will only say that, at its worst, 2017 seemed like a sneak preview of the post-Apocalypse. Can anyone say Dystopia Now? At its best, we're still here. Get used to it. We human beings are a pretty resilient bunch, that's for sure. And we'll persevere. Because, as Ma Joad once said, "We're the people."

Instead of moaning and groaning about the past, present and future, I choose to celebrate 2017 because, guess what, it wasn't all bad. Here are some of the better things-17 in fact- that happened to me this year-personally, professionally and culturally.

PERSONALLY

Celebrated 20 year anniversary with my beautiful wife, Laurie

Turning grandpahood into an art-form, watching my grandson Sebastian graduate from high school with honors and enter college, then traveling to Denver to witness my spectacular granddaughter Aefa on stage for her theater camp performance of Hair Salon Disaster. Finally, wrapping up the year in the prettiest of bows when I discovered I am becoming a grandpa AGAIN. Yes!

PROFESSIONALLY

In 2017, I had five stage productions of my plays, a new personal best. MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER was performed with three separate theater companies. SONG OF THE CANYON KID finally made it onto the stage of the Mantorville Theatre Co. in Minnesota after four years of me bugging the hell out of them. They even filmed one of their shows, available on the YouTube. Take a look-see for yourself.

While I haven't completed anything new for 2017, I did combine two of my melodramas, LEGEND OF THE ROGUE and ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS into one volume I oh-so cleverly call A DOUBLE SHOT OF HA-HA, a companion piece for the two murder mysteries called A DOUBLE SHOT OF MURDER. Next year, a third in the series called  A DOUBLE SHOT OF NO NEW IDEAS.

CULTURALLY

My birthday movie this year was LA LA LAND that I took in at a sweet little neighborhood cinema in Portland called the Moreland. I enjoyed the film (with reservations) but it was more about the experience, a treat I gave myself. Recently I took in THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MO., another fine film with which I have some issues, although it was an afternoon well worth spending playing with the reclining seats.

Way too much good TV (it's getting to be a dangerous obsession) with my very favorite being TABOO with my fave rave Tom Hardy. I'll also include the hoot known as FEUD, BETTER THINGS with my girlfriend Pamela Adlon, THE LEFTOVERS with my other gal pal Ann Dowd, MINDHUNTERS, GODLESS w/Jeff Daniels and oh so many more that I'll have to enter them below.

The best all around season in recent memory for DOCTOR WHO was a fitting send-off for both Dr. 13 Peter Capaldi and show-runner Steven Moffat. Whiny geeks have been bitching about Moffat for eons. Now they can complain about everything else. And they will. Trust me. Moffat was my entry drug into this show and I will be eternally grateful.

Peter Morgan's writing on THE CROWN gives me a reason to live.

Another Morgan, Jeffrey Dean to be exact, is the finest villain in recent memory as THE WALKING DEAD's Negan. Whatever shortcoming the show has lately, JDM is crushing it each and every time he appears. And I tire of the death knell the former fans are ringing for this show. Shut up. Move on. Get another show. Hate watching is for morons.

After a terrible personal tragedy, Patton Oswalt rebounded with his hilarious and moving Netflix stand-up special, ANNIHILATION.

With a year that included both Paul Auster's 4321 and Michael Chabon's MOONGLOW, the finest fiction I read this year had to be Francine Prose's MISTER MONKEY, a multi-character comic tale revolving around a children's theater performance. It warmed my heart like no other.

Non-fiction wise, the hands down winner was Kliph Nesroff's superb history of stand up comedy THE COMEDIANS.

Some nice tunes this year with local favorite Portugal the Man's catchy ditty I FEEL IT STILL a good listen as well as Awol Nation's WOMAN WOMAN. If I have to be honest, I have to go with The Revivalists' WISH I KNEW YOU as my pick o' the year. It had a good beat and I could dance to it. Plus the nostalgic paigns of new love in an older life hits me in the sweet spot.

A monumental day at the Denver Art Museum for their incredible exhibition ONCE UPON A TIME...THE WESTERN: A NEW FRONTIER IN ART AND FILM. I was in hog heaven. (I just rejoined the the Portland Art Museum, so expect see some kudos going that-away next year)

Nothing compares to the restaurant experience-food, service, ambience- at the New Orleans' style bistro ACADIA in Portland. I'm still salivating over that meal.

I have been searching for a perfect every day beer for years now and I found it this year. Silver Moon Brewery of Bend, Oregon gave the world-and me, in particular-this fine beverage. Chapter 2 Casual Ale. it is what I will consume come midnight on New Year's.

Finally, my good friend and benefactor Melanie Roady, formerly of Mel O' Drama Theater, gifted me with the original latex head of Francois Fibian from the original production of THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS (now known as DEAD TUESDAY) Created by master mask maker David Knezz, he is true work of art and I'm proud to own him for more reasons than one. Francois sits above my front door, reminding of me who I am and what I can do. Now all I have to do...is do it.

That's what 2018 is all about. Let's do it, people. Otherwise, we have to blame no one but ourselves. Time's a-wastin' and waits for no man, woman or child. The only thing you have to lose is yourself-and that's the whole ballgame.

Happy New Year, I mean it. Let's reboot and start 2018 on, if not a positive, at least a willing note. It's time we took back our lives. We either surrendered or cowered in fear when the Empire struck back and snatched it away. We have to fight back. Our very survival-physically, mentally, morally- depends on it.

Bring on the 2018.
Full steam ahead.
Fire in the hole, kids.

Bon jour, 2018! Laissez les bon temps rouler!

  

February Fun Facts

DID YOU KNOW...?

February is the shortest month of the year. Of course you did. You'd have to be a blithering idiot to date a check 2/30. That is, unless you were going to the dentist. Wait for it...

February is also the month when my first show of the year will be produced, a one night stand of DEAD TUESDAY (the play formerly known as THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS). Sugar High Theatricals of Galesburg, Illinois is staging this fairy tale murder mystery o' mine on the appropriate date...Feb. 28 which this year is Fat Tuesday, cher! Perfect for a Mardi Gras themed show such as this. Laissez les bons temps rouler!

The Welsh call February "y mis bach" which means "little month". Except no one can pronounce it. Except Tom Jones.

The best new show on TV currently is TABOO on FX starring my current favorite actor Tom Hardy. There is not a single false note in this brilliant show set in 19th century England, dark and dank as anything I've ever seen. Runners-up are Netflix's THE CROWN (Peter Morgan is a god) and STRANGER THINGS, the best Stephen King story not written by Stephen King. The latter includes my new favorite actress, Millie Bobby Brown, quite the recommendation since I generally never like child performers and she is positively extraordinary to the point that she may even be extra-terrestrial. On the other end of the spectrum, Netflix's SANTA CLARITA DIET is a stink bomb. Timothy Olyphant needs to be sedated and Drew Barrymore is putrid in this unfunny, unfocused sit-com that is getting raves from a very indiscriminate audience.

It is the third month of winter. In the Southern Hemisphere February is a summer month the equivalent of August. After this winter, the Southern hemisphere can kiss my frozen ass. (Sorry. The cold weather has made me cranky.)

My birthday movie this year was the much-lauded LA LA LAND, a wonderful choice if I do blog so myself. It's not perfect by any means, but there are moments that touch pure magic, such as the last ten minutes, that justify any kudos this has garnered thus far. It will indeed win a flock o' Oscars, much like its closest comparison, THE ARTIST, from a few years ago. But if I were to be perfectly honest, I would say that the similarly themed L.A. STORY, written and starring Steve Martin, is the better film. Regardless of that sleight, my movie-going experience was top notch especially when I decided to attend a single screen cinema in Portland instead of a dreaded multi-plex, a major reason my attendance has been so apathetic in the last few years. So dadgum it, I treated myself and will do so again. Nyah.                          

     

                                                      

The largest American sporting event the Super Bowl, is held in February. Did I watch it? No, I totally boycotted the Super Bowl this year. Of course, I never watch it to begin with, so it's not that much of a stand. I did watch the half-time show on the YouTube and thought Lady Gaga crushed it. If you didn't like Gaga's performance or want to comment on her supposed belly fat, you can crowd in front of the Southern hemisphere and pucker up, you slimy trolls.

The Saxon term for the month, Sol-monath, means "cake month". This is because they offered cakes to the gods during this month.

So as the world continues to circle the drain, enjoy a piece of cake, Saxon-style. No, not in a Marie Antoinette way. Treat yourself. You need it. Maybe have some pie instead. Pie is good.