Showing posts with label statues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label statues. Show all posts

Thursday, July 09, 2020

Statues of Limitations

UPDATE 10/17/20: Last weekend,  a group of thugs stormed through the South park blocks of Portland in the name of Indigenous Peoples' Day of Rage. At least, that was their excuse this time. They smashed windows and glass doors at the Oregon Historical Society and stole the Afro-American Heritage Bicentennial Quilt, found later blocks away, soaking in the rain. Then they toppled the statues of Teddy Roosevelt and known scumbag of the people, Abraham Lincoln. Damn him and his pennies anyway. Here's a piece I wrote earlier this summer:


Enough is enough. Or is it?

After these nightly rampant displays of vandalism and pillaging in the name of...what was it again? The message is getting lost, people in all these acts of idiocy on the streets of Portland for the past...are you ready for this?..40 freaking nights now with, I'm sure, more to come. (Up to 120 as of 10/17/20) The peaceful BlackLivesMatter protests have been booted off the front page by a pack of punks, thugs and hooligans (that's right) who have hijacked the headlines with their actions. This is frustrating to the cause since this fringe element is stealing the spotlight, but what are they going to do about it, call the police? Whoopsy-daisy...

Then there's the destruction of statues happening nationwide. It began with tearing down leaders of the Confederacy that somehow have still remained intact in the 21st century. Since Portland doesn't have any tributes to the "brave" rebels of yore, they decided to go after Tommy Jefferson's statue at the high school that bares his name (you think it was named after Weezy?) The result? Slave-owner TJ got yanked off his perch. Then they went after another slave-owner, George Washington who bit the dust where he stood on Sandy Boulevard. I reckon some folks won't be crossing the border to visit our neighbor to the north until the name is changed. Any votes for the great state of Cobain?

Last week, the iconic bronze elk statue, part of the David P. Thompson fountain that was erected in 1900, was set ablaze by another or the same gang of nitwits. The fire was such that it damaged the base and the elk had to be removed by the city. Who did this? It sure wasn't PETA. As far as why it happened, there is no logical answer, is there? Maybe they're running out of statues. What's left?

Well, there's this umbrella guy in Pioneer Square. He seems pretty benign, but hold the phone...

HE'S GOT A RED TIE!
OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

Paul Bunyan? Doesn't he represent the lumber industry?

SOMEBODY CALL EARTH FIRST...STAT!

Beverly Cleary's beloved character has statue all her own. Everybody loves Ramona Quimby, don't they? Well, what if I told you her middle name was...

KAREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When these are all long gone, disappeared by the anti-bronze league, one thing is a given.
Street performance artist Mr. Statue

THIS GUY HAD BETTER WATCH HIS BACK! HE'S NEXT!

Whether it is intentional or not, these obscene fools are sabotaging the movement with their idiotic destructive actions. Think of what happened to that elk statue. 

It was removed because its base was ruined.


COMING SOON: ELECTION DAY! 
DUCK AND COVER!