TV...Good!

Rumors about our dear President Bungle’s love life have flying fast and furiously lately.
One of them involves his alleged affair with the Secretary of State.
Hmmm…seems GW has a favorite side dish.
Condoleeza Rice.
Ba-dump-bump!

The end of the “traditional” TV season brought forth some pleasures great and small, but I can’t think of a better image than the EVERYBODY LOVES CHRIS finale. That included the image of Terry Crewes, playing Chris’ father Julius, singing his own rendition of I WILL SURVIVE. Sure, this is an over-used gag, going back even further than Lil’ Tommy Cruise’s underpants dance in RISKY BUSINESS. Somehow, the twist that it was that big lug Julius, home alone on Father’s Day, dueting with Gloria Gaynor with a hairbrush microphone while standing on his dining room table stage, hit all the right notes and made it unforgettable. You go, Jules!

My beloved SOPRANOS kind of petered out at the end of this season, though I heard a great analogy from cast member Frank Vincent (Phil Leotardo). “THE SOPRANOS is so good, it’s in competition with itself.” If some say this season wasn’t as good as others, it’s still better than anything out there. Oh so true. And R.I.P. Vito. We have hardly knew ye. Oh wait a minute. Yeah we did. Ew.

BIG LOVE’s season ender was much more satisfying, though it had to try harder in the position it was in. Any show that can get an audience to care about the creepy lifestyle known as polygamy is aces in my book. I can’t wait for next season. If you can find it, there is a fantastic article about Harry Dean Stanton in the June 2 issue of ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY. He truly is Da Man.

HOUSE ended on another high note with another season finale that is better than any episode it has aired the entire year, just as it has before. It seems that the producers prefer the non-traditional (read: "edgy") storylines to finish out the year while trotting out the medical MATLOCKs the rest of the time to appease the AMERICAN IDOL worshippers. Still in all, excellent episode.

As for the summer, RESCUE ME on FX has returned with a vengeance and HBO’s DEADWOOD, in its possible last season. I also look forward to LUCKY LOUIE, possibly a very funny show, and to a much lesser extent, ENTOURAGE. I find those little bastards annoying.

Oh, and on network TV there’s….uh….well, nothing. What else is new?

At Long Last Blog

It's been awhile between postings. What's going on in the world since last month? France went up in smoke,

the threat of Bird Flu and the hubbub about a guy named Scooter, a name nobody above the age of ten should have. What a world. Then there's actually a debate and vote over the merits of torture. Huh? Such compassion. Those in the "yea" category are the same ones who cheered as Paris burned last week. They were so happy, they started Freedom kissing each other in the Senate chambers. As for the possible Avian flu outbreak, wouldn't it be a kick in the ass if President Bungle brought it into this country after his trip to Asia? "I'm George W. Bush...and I approve this pandemic." This dumbass probably ate some bad McNuggets while he was in Beijing cuz he don't like no Chinky food. Gives him the trots.

Let's lighten up a bit with some...
GREAT BAND NAMES
(guaranteed authentic!)
1. Bile
2.Hillbilly Devilspeak
3.Torture Cookies
4.Stink and Linger
5. The Buttless Chaps

On the TV front, ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT bit the dust, but at least FOX gave it three tries which were, unfortunately, not a charm. I do admit that I am going miss Bob Loblaw. The only show out of this year's crop that I think is worthy of all the attention is EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS and particularly its star, Tyler James Williams as the young Chris Rock. NIP/TUCK, my favorite series of the last couple of years and the show I used to say "never fails to disappoint", is falling into a crappy pit of mediocrity. Could be a little too self-congratulations on the parts of the producers have caused this season to slip creatively. It's happened to many a show before, but hopefully it will dig itself out. ROME, on the other hand, ending next week, has moved into my top spot. Fun fun fun. Kind of like GLADIATOR crossed with THE WEST WING and DYNASTY, all mixed together in a ....Caesar salad. Ba-dump-bump!

May I now sing the praises of ON DEMAND cable, something that is changing the way we watch the tube. Thanks to this service from heaven, I have been able to catch up on a lot of shows that I've missed during this recent hiatus. The aforementioned ROME, Ricky Gervais' EXTRAS and many a movie including Johny To's FULLTIME KILLER starring Andy Lau (HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS), a sensational Hong Kong actioner (as they say in Variety) that is almost as good as early John Woo. Also noteworthy is Noel Black's PRETTY POISON from 1968, a little thriller with Tony Perkins, who could be a distant cousin to Christopher Walken, and a smoking hot Tuesday Weld. The fact that I could watch these and so much more programming whenever the hell I felt like is so liberating. It's nice to have something to live for...before I keel over dead from a lethal duck virus.

Speaking of which...

A girl walks down the street carrying a duck.
A drunk stumbles over to her and says,
"Hey! Where'd you get that pig!"
"That's not a pig," the girl tells him. " It's a duck."
The drunk replies, "I was talking to the duck!"

You Miami audiences are the greatest!
G'night!