The Gang's All Here

Summer re-runs are fun, aren't they? Here's one from a couple of years back.

With THE SOPRANOS becoming a distant memory and the next season of BOARDWALK EMPIRE months away, my appetite for gangland drama has been voracious as of late. I've been jonesing like a Droogie for a bit of the old ultraviolence, either cinematically or broadcastically.

JUSTIFIED really does fit the bill. Them country boys down in Butcher Holler (or whatever holler they holler in) are more than a barrel full of wiseguys with a side of grits. It's also fueled my interest in the written works of Elmore Leonard, creator of Raylan Givens and the rest of these dangerous hillbillies.But damn it, season 3's over and gone as well (with a super duper villain turn by Neil McDonough) and I need more more more as Andrea True once sang.

So I've delved into the international market. Yakuza (the Japanese equivalent of the Mafia) films always foot the bill, particularly those by Kenji Fukasaku whose work includes SYMPATHY FOR THE UNDERDOG and the five part saga BATTLES WITHOUT HONOUR AND HUMANITY. I've been gaga for French crime mellers since the late great Jules Dassin's RIFIFI. My favorites among these have been Jacques Becker's TOUCHEZ PAS AU GRISBI (the English translation being DON'T TOUCH THE LOOT. Love it.) and Jean-Pierre Melville's LE CERCLE ROUGE. Oh, in case you didn't know: Jean Gabin is God. There's also the Danish mob as portrayed in DRIVE director Nicolas Winding Refn's sensational PUSHER trilogy, tales not for the squeamish but the squeamish shouldn't be here anyway. They should be watching TWILIGHT.

But lately, I've been caught up in Chinese director Johnny To's films about the Triad gangs, ELECTION and its immediate sequel TRIAD ELECTION. These two cold-blooded tales are intricate in their story telling as well as crash courses in modern Chinese culture, particularly since the end of the British occupation. They are also extremely devious by nature. At one point, you're almost led to believe that a main protagonist is quite benign and almost humane in his depiction as the story unravels until he suddenly becomes the most sadistic character of the bunch. Chilling, thrilling and always fascinating, Johnny To's movies always deliver. Also check out To's FULLTIME KILLER with Andy Lau and EXILED with one of the coolest of the cool, Simon Yam.

Give Johnny To's gangster dramas a look see and soon you'll be saying: "Leave the gun. Take the potstickers."

Bah-dump-bump!

How about that Barbara Walters doing the beast with two backs with the very married Senator Edward Brooke? Here's an exclusive transcript from their den of sin:

"So, Senator Bwooke, what kind of twee would you like to be? (zipppppp!) Oh, it's twue, it's twue! It's twue!"

Yep. That's our Baba Wawa, the original Lily von Shtupp.

What a twamp.

Bah-dump-bump!

Josh Brolin is George W. Bush in the new Oliver Stone movie. So you're telling me that Timothy Bottoms was too busy?

Bah-dump-bump!

Beyonce Knowles is preggers! By this time next year, she will be the proud mother of a Beyonce baby boy.

Bah-dump-bump!


I've got a hundred of 'em...

So let's segue from Bah-dump-bump to Bada-bing...(ew)

With THE SOPRANOS long gone, my appetite for gangland drama has been voracious as of late. THE DEPARTED filled the void for awhile and I find myself drawn to its flame like a retarded moth everytime it hits cable, which lately has been daily. Still, I need more more more as Andrea True once sang, so I've delved into the international market. Yakuza (the Japanese equivalent of the Mafia) films always foot the bill, particularly those by Kenji Fukasaku whose work includes SYMPATHY FOR THE UNDERDOG and the five part saga BATTLES WITHOUT HONOUR AND HUMANITY. I've been gaga for French crime mellers since the late great Jules Dassin's RIFIFI. My favorites among these have been Jacques Becker's TOUCHEZ PAS AU GRISBI (the English translation being DON'T TOUCH THE LOOT. Love it.) and Jean-Pierre Melville's LE CERCLE ROUGE.

But lately, I've been caught up in Chinese director Johnny To's films about the Triad gangs, ELECTION and its immediate sequel TRIAD ELECTION. These two cold-blooded tales are intricate in their story telling as well as crash courses in modern Chinese culture, particularly since the end of the British occupation. They are also extremely devious by nature. At one point, you're almost led to believe that a main protagonist is quite benign and almost humane in his depiction as the story unravels until he suddenly becomes the most sadistic character of the bunch. Chilling, thrilling and always fascinating, Johnny To's movies always delivered. Also check out To's FULLTIME KILLER with Andy Lau. And if you haven't seen THE DEPARTED because for some dumb damn reason you don't care for Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon and/or Jack Nicholson, then at least watch the orginal Chinese version, INFERNAL AFFAIRS, directed by Andy Lau and Alan Mak. It's still a good story. Scorsese just improved on it because, well, he's Martin Scorsese.

Lame comedy mixed with excellent recommendations.
What more do you want out of a blog?

At Long Last Blog

It's been awhile between postings. What's going on in the world since last month? France went up in smoke,

the threat of Bird Flu and the hubbub about a guy named Scooter, a name nobody above the age of ten should have. What a world. Then there's actually a debate and vote over the merits of torture. Huh? Such compassion. Those in the "yea" category are the same ones who cheered as Paris burned last week. They were so happy, they started Freedom kissing each other in the Senate chambers. As for the possible Avian flu outbreak, wouldn't it be a kick in the ass if President Bungle brought it into this country after his trip to Asia? "I'm George W. Bush...and I approve this pandemic." This dumbass probably ate some bad McNuggets while he was in Beijing cuz he don't like no Chinky food. Gives him the trots.

Let's lighten up a bit with some...
GREAT BAND NAMES
(guaranteed authentic!)
1. Bile
2.Hillbilly Devilspeak
3.Torture Cookies
4.Stink and Linger
5. The Buttless Chaps

On the TV front, ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT bit the dust, but at least FOX gave it three tries which were, unfortunately, not a charm. I do admit that I am going miss Bob Loblaw. The only show out of this year's crop that I think is worthy of all the attention is EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS and particularly its star, Tyler James Williams as the young Chris Rock. NIP/TUCK, my favorite series of the last couple of years and the show I used to say "never fails to disappoint", is falling into a crappy pit of mediocrity. Could be a little too self-congratulations on the parts of the producers have caused this season to slip creatively. It's happened to many a show before, but hopefully it will dig itself out. ROME, on the other hand, ending next week, has moved into my top spot. Fun fun fun. Kind of like GLADIATOR crossed with THE WEST WING and DYNASTY, all mixed together in a ....Caesar salad. Ba-dump-bump!

May I now sing the praises of ON DEMAND cable, something that is changing the way we watch the tube. Thanks to this service from heaven, I have been able to catch up on a lot of shows that I've missed during this recent hiatus. The aforementioned ROME, Ricky Gervais' EXTRAS and many a movie including Johny To's FULLTIME KILLER starring Andy Lau (HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS), a sensational Hong Kong actioner (as they say in Variety) that is almost as good as early John Woo. Also noteworthy is Noel Black's PRETTY POISON from 1968, a little thriller with Tony Perkins, who could be a distant cousin to Christopher Walken, and a smoking hot Tuesday Weld. The fact that I could watch these and so much more programming whenever the hell I felt like is so liberating. It's nice to have something to live for...before I keel over dead from a lethal duck virus.

Speaking of which...

A girl walks down the street carrying a duck.
A drunk stumbles over to her and says,
"Hey! Where'd you get that pig!"
"That's not a pig," the girl tells him. " It's a duck."
The drunk replies, "I was talking to the duck!"

You Miami audiences are the greatest!
G'night!