An Emmy of the People

A few thoughts on this year's Emmy broadcast.

Was it too political? Of course it was. What would you expect? This is the environment we live in these days. The pontificating that occurred during the Emmys made the other award shows pale in comparison because, as it stands now, TV rules the roost and Hollywood loves a winner...unless that winner won last year's election. Besides, when you have an agenda, you're going to take every opportunity that arises to perpetuate your deep rooted passionate point of view and how are you going to pass up speaking to the entire world? Well, the entire world that wasn't watching something else on Sunday night. Stephen Colbert's one shot (I imagine) as Emmy host was more hit than miss. Some of his material could have been sharper. Could be the topical material became what my mom used to call "tiresome'.

The winners all deserved their gold statues, I was sorry to see the sweeps of certain shows over others because I would have liked to seen it more spread out. I also dislike repeat winners since multiplicity breeds contempt in my book. But I don't begrudge any of those taking home their trophies with the exception of...

Alec Baldwin. I actually rooted against him taking the gold for his work on SNL this last year. It all boils down to what I consider to be a lousy impression. His Donald Trump is the worst kind of caricature, the kind everyone thinks they can do and usually, quite poorly. Now Baldwin is quite a good actor and has been exceptional on SNL several times in the past. But this time his politics have gotten in the way of his performance. His Trump doesn't come from a place of comedy. It comes from total hatred and it shows. Worse yet, it hurts. His ideology gives him no objectivity and muddies the waters, turning him into a mocking buffoon straight out of an Oliver Stone movie. (Anthony Atamanuik does a better Trump on his Comedy Central show.) Besides, I don't like how Baldwin's appearances on the show have taken away from more deserving cast members, actors that have to fight, beg and scrape for air time unless one of Lorne Michaels' pals wants steal the spotlight away from them.

On a more pleasant note, my girl Ann Dowd won a Best Supporting Actress for her role in The Handmaid's Tale, which I haven't seen, but I am crazy in love with this talented actress. She is part of a growing number of actresses, shall we say, of a certain age who are absolutely crushing it out there. Her fellow nominee, Jackie (Mamacita) Hoffman, not to mention Jessica Lange and Susan Sarandon from this year's Feud are perfect evidence of this. Starting with Kathy Bates in absolutely everything (even Nelflix's Disjointed boondoggle) and carried on with Margo Martindale's recent successes not to mention Jean Smart, these women need to be celebrated more than they are already. Nicole Kidman can get up on stage and complain that there are no roles for older women, but the heavy lifting is being done by these fine actresses. Most of their fine work can be seen on television and that, dear people is what should be not only celebrated, but yelled from every rooftop in goddamn Hollywood.

The Emmys have the same problems as most shows of this ilk-insipid banter, nonsensical pre-recorded pieces that mostly tank and, of course, the over bearing length. But just like the Grammys, only the "major" awards make the big show, only about 15%. To hand out everything would take the same time as a Ken Burns documentary. But it's still too freaking long. Maybe if, when a series wins, the entire cast and crew aren't herded onto the stage, that is unless they use are some border collies to hustle their asses along.. Move your asses, people! As far as I'm concerned, we don't need to see the whole mishpucka.

So ends the Emmys. Enjoy your rest, folks. Awards season starts at the end of the year and everything old will be new again. Or not.

Holy Crap, Batman!

My goodness gracious. Aren't we in a collectively pissy mood lately? It seems we're absolutely outraged over just about everything these days, whether they're world events or the slightest trivial infraction exploding into a controversy of catastrophic proportions. It's not like we don't enough to complain about-Syria, another in series of impending government shutdown, mass shootings, the weather, this, that, the other thing... But gee whiz, folks, does Miley Cyrus really deserve this much notice? It's Miley Cyrus, for chrissakes! Where the hell are your priorities? I don't want to know who really gives two turds in Turlock whether she's twerking or tonguing or whatever she was doing on the MTV VMAs. It doesn't matter. It's Miley Cyrus not Mother Teresa. And since when is anyone caring about the VMAs again?

Among the other stuff and nonsense as of late:

BEN AFFLECK IS THE NEW BATMAN

Never mind the obvious joke about Matt Damon as Robin (it's already been done in BEHIND THE CANDELABRA), this news about Affleck playing The Caped Crusader in BATMAN vs SUPERMAN has caused a shitstorm that made Hurricane sandy look like a light breeze. First of all, Warner Brothers should have cast an unknown. Henry Cavill is still Superman, a carryover from THE MAN OF STEEL and he's not exactly a household name. Second, it's called BATMAN vs SUPERMAN. Can it be any more obvious that it's going to stink up the cineplex? DC has been losing to Marvel on the film adaptation front. THE DARK KNIGHT series gave a boost and THE MAN OF STEEL performed better than expected. They just couldn't wait to junk it up with an AVENGERS-like wannabe. FRANKENSTEIN vs THE WOLF MAN, KING KONG vs GODZILLA, FREDDY vs JASON, ALIEN vs PREDATOR. This is what you do when you're trying to squeeze your last nickel, not when you're mving forward, nitwits. Third, the question of Ben. Well, he's taller than Christian Bale, so there's that. But why hasn't anyone questioned what this stupid all-around idea will do the career he's been trying to establish since GIGLI? His film ARGO won Best Picture last year and now he wants to play superhero again. DAREDEVIL wasn't humiliating enough for him. This is a step down for all involved. It's not a crime against nature that's Affleck is the new Batman when there are worse ramifications here, not the least of which is another craptastic superhero movie for the summer cesspool season.

COREY MONTEITH EMMY MEMORIAL

It's no secret that I hate the Emmy broadcast, but it's an awards show, so what can one really expect a show business circle-jerk that the public gets the privilege to witness. This year, the BIG scandal involved this Corey Monteith kid, a supporting actor on GLEE who ODed this last summer, getting a special memorial on the show, separate from the normal Death Parade. Others that got the same special treatment were James Gandolfini, Jean Stapleton, Gary David Goldberg and Jonathan Winters. Viewers, mostly older, were incensed that Monteith got an honored spot rather than Jack Klugman, Larry Hagman or even Julie Harris. The truth is none of the five should have had this tribute. Why were these dead people better than the other dead people? Gary David Goldberg had a couple of hit shows with Michael J. Fox. Jonathan Winters, one of the funniest man ever, guested on a a lot shows and joined the cast of MORK AND MINDY in its final year. Big contributions to TV? Not as much as Hagman. Due to the popularity of his JR Ewing, DALLAS wasn't just one of the most popular shows of all time in America, but the world. Its ratings were more than all of these shows put together. So the special memorials were really unnecssary unless you included them all, making it a five hour show. All or nothing. The inclusion of Monteith was supposedly a nod to younger viewers. Yeah, way to bring in the kids. Just say no, chillun. Maybe Nancy Reagan should have given the eulogy instead of Jane Lynch. It's a subject not worth the bluster. Let the kid have his only day in the sun. The rest have legacies. What I considered worse was Carrie Underwood singing "YESTERDAY", though I did get a good chuckle when she admitted she's "not half the man she used to be".

 FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY CASTING SONS OF ANARCHY'S CHARLIE HUNNAM

A book I'm never going to read adapted into a movie I'll never see. As my sister used to say to piss off my grammarian mother, "It don't make me no never mind."

Trivial bullshit? We're soaking in it. Yet the apoplexy on the web and beyond has reached tsunami levels. It's a whirlpool that is just going to drag us further down the drain and flushed out to the sea of despair which is not a round trip back to any semblance of normalcy.

As for me, I try to focus on what really matters in life, the important things that are important to enrich one quality of being in this. For example:

Why did I waste 12 full hours of valuable time watching UNDER THE DOME? Hah! UNDER THE DUMB is more like it. (Snap goes the dragon!) Thanks for nothing, Stephen King. Your story played better in THE SIMPSONS MOVIE. It also had an ending. Boy, one cow chopped in half and I got sucked in for the whole summer. Well, at least Moo-Moo was cut length-wise...

See? The IMPORTANT things.
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And Another Thing...

"America lifted its skirts and showed us that its panties are dirty."-Rev. Wally Walker of the Noah's Ark Ministry in New Orleans', describing the government's mishandling of Hurricaine Katrina.

As the world moves on, the pieces have just begun to picked up, one twig at a time in the weeks that have followed the Gulf Coast Massacre of '05.

President Bungle has accepted responsibility in the federal handling of the crisis, ala Harry Truman's "The Buck Stops Here". Maybe he's finally beginning to grow up. Maybe I just want to believe just a smidgen because it's too painful to think he really doesn't care at all. By the by, do ya think he knows who Kanye West even is?
"Kanye West? Never heard of her. Kanye Francis. I heard'a her. Kanye Stevens. She was Pepper on 77 SUNSET STRIP."

Hey, George. I don't really know who he is either. Didn't he used to be 50 Cent? That's marked down from what?

Whenever I hear Michael Chertoff, the Homeland Security chief, I have an urge to name a star after somebody. Come on. He sounds like Rocky Mozell of the International Star Registry. Fine. I'm the only chump who still listens to the radio.

Ah-nuld wants to run for re-election as Governor of Cally-fornia. Apparently, two other names have popped up who might oppose him-Rob Reiner and Warren Beatty. Aren't there anymore real politicians left in California? What happened to that little Mr. Spacely guy who ran as a Democrat last time? Did he just slink away into obscurity when he actually lost to Schwarzenegger? Maybe he went back to making quality sprockets at affordable prices.

Russell Crowe said not only may not be able to come back to America, he might not want to. Too bad. He could be the new Verizon guy. "Can you hear me now, mate? Goddamn it, I said can you hear now? What are, fucking DEAF????" Then he'll throw his phone at the four eyed dork and KA-CHING! He's back in business!

As far as the Emmys go, who really cares? DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES will get too many awards for being a mediocre show and not a comedy to begin with. It's just not funny enough to qualify in that category. Both RESCUE ME and NIP/TUCK got skunked so my interest level has flat-lined. If WILL & GRACE wins anything, I'll heave. I would like to see Hugh Laurie win for HOUSE, a good show with a great lead, not unlike MONK in that sense. Peter Boyle should get at least one for the road.

Two shows to recommend:
HBO's ROME, which should be advertised as The Original SOPRANOS, is a helluva big pleasant surprise. Very involving and easier to follow than DEADWOOD, this also boasts a fine cast with standouts by Ray Anthony as Titus, kind of a Russell Crowe without the douche attitude, and the incredibly HOT and devious Polly Walker.

The Sundance Channel has been running a Canadian series called SLINGS AND ARROWS, behind the scenes at a Shakespearean theatre company, which is very funny and fairly accurate, speaking as one who has has some time on and off stage in my time. Mark McKinney from KIDS IN THE HALL co-stars and co-created it.

All for now but some for later.
Oh, and one time, with feeling:
THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN!