Sad Men

And thus, Mathhew Weiner's MAD MEN ends not with a bang, but with an "Ommmmmm..."

The finale of AMC;s first successful foray into series television had the feel of a greatest hits album with additional previously unreleased tracks. High notes abounded, giving closure to some characters, new roads to travel for others and for Dick Whitman AKA Don Draper, a round trip ticket. Some elements seemed too pat, like a fairy tale ending for Peggy Olsen, but those who are familiar with the Weinerverse now full well that pitfalls are right around the corner. But that final coda put it all in perspective with a wink and a jab to the ribs to make it all worthwhile.

I'm Just Sayin'

If you write  I'm just sayin', it's more than just wrong. It's a lie.

I'm taking Flonase. It's like a condiment for my nose. I may try it on a salad.

Speaking of food, the Bacon Renaissance is officially with Burger King's announcement of their upcoming Bacon Sundae promotion. And Michelle Obama's head just exploded.

Thank you, Matthew Weiner, for another sensational season of MAD MEN. The closing scene in this year's finale with "You Only Live Twice" playing throughout...absolute genius.

With MAD MEN, THE KILLING, GAME OF THRONES, GIRLS and VEEP wrapping up for the year, BREAKING BAD and LOUIE can't start soon enough.

Yes, I like GIRLS. I mean Lena Dunham's HBO series. I like girls too. Well, I like women. And girls. I like boys too. Oops. That's a potential Polanski/Sandusky mash-up. Poldusky?

Disappointed in Nicholas Winding Refn's DRIVE, mostly because of Ryan Gosling. His dopey grin and neo-Method styling was a cross between his character in LARS AND THE REAL GIRL and Sonny from I, ROBOT.

A much better film and lead performance is Jeff Nichols' paranoid masterwork TAKE SHELTER starring Michael Shannon.

Are people in general talking faster or am I just listening slower?

Best books of 2012 thus far, both non-fiction: Susan Orlean's biography of the iconic animal movie star RIN-TIN-TIN and Will Hermes' brilliant account of music in 1970s New York LOVE COMES TO BUILDINGS ON FIRE (despite the late addition of the dreaded At the end of the day...)

I hope I die before I get old is no longer an option.

The Best of 2009

Overall, 2009 was a decent year for entertainment, but not exactly exemplary. Almost everything that made my list had so many flaws they wouldn't have made it on better years. Still, I managed to come up with quite a few all-time favorites in the process.

Best TV Series: MAD MEN

By focusing on the year 1963, Matthew Weiner's brilliant series charted a pivotal course for his show during this pivotal time in history.

Best moment: a shaken Don Draper coming to grips with the truth in the episode entitled THE GYPSY AND THE HOBO with the haunting tagline "Who are you supposed to be?"

Second best: Office party lawn mower in GUY WALKS INTO AN ADVERTISING AGENCY

Best CD

DIG, LAZARUS, DIG by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

I played the beejus outta this sucker. Favorite cut: Lie Down Here and Be My Girl.

Best Book

PICTURES AT A REVOLUTION: FIVE MOVIES AND THE BIRTH OF THE NEW HOLLYWOOD by Mark Harris-One of the best books about the movies I've ever read. All about the transitional year of 1967, focusing on the five films nominated for Best Picture Oscars-THE GRADUATE, GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER?, BONNIE AND CLYDE, IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT and best of all DOCTOR DOOLITTLE.

Best Films (many have a 2008 release date, but I saw them in 2009. Don't like it? Lump it.)

10. PONYO-I just had to see a Hayao Miyazaki anime on the big screen and was rewarded handsomely. While PONYO is almost too cute, Miyazaki kept my cynical soul at bay with his brilliant artistic sensibilities.

9. CORALINE-Score one for Portland's Laika Studios. Henry Selick's adaptation of Neil Gaiman's tale ran circles around NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS. The bittersweet ending of this victory is that Laika may not be able to follow up, laying off a major chunk of their workforce and the exiting of Selick. Oh well. One's better than none.

8. DISTRICT 9-Neill Blomkamp's Apartheid allegory with aliens in South Africa was the best sci-fi of the year. In a just world, Sharlto Copley would get a Best Actor nod.

7. WATCHMEN-Unfilmable? Probably, but Zack Snyder made a grand stab at Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' classic graphic novel (I know it was a comic book mini-series first. Back off, nerds) and succeeded in a very high percentile.

6. REVOLUTIONARY ROAD-Sam Mendes and Kate Winslet hate suburbia. If you don't believe it from AMERICAN BEAUTY and LITTLE MONSTERS, this one clinches it and was unduly snubbed at the Oscars. A fine film, but you'll want to drink afterwards...a lot.

5.THE WRESTLER-Mickey Rourke was robbed! Let's get a rematch with Sean Penn...this time...Hell in a Cell!

4. INGLORIOUS BASTERDS-Quentin Tarantino lives to fight another day. It's a bingo!

3. THE HURT LOCKER-Katherine Bigelow finally has something to stand beside her debut masterwork NEAR DARK. Very possibly the most suspenseful film of the decade...and starring former Palace Showboat Player Jeremy Renner. Who knew?

2. UP-The sweetest damn film of this or any other year.

1. SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE-One of the best movie-movies ever. A modern-day fairy tale that has my favorite love story and a parable for the ages.

Why was it the best?

D. It is written.

NEXT:

The Best of the Decade

TV Yin and Yang

Been an interesting and rather satisfying few months of TV viewing the past few months (with a few potholes along the way).

Not to be redundant but I had to agree with just about everyone that MAD MEN ended its third season absolutely brilliantly, elevating it to my Top Ten list of Best Series of All Time. This year had a slow roll, but by its final few episodes, picked up light speed by a most satisfying season finale. One of the highlights had to be the deconstruction and damn near crash and burn of Don Draper. The scenes of Don finally coming to terms with his past to his wife Betty were spot on brilliant. Writer/creator Matthew Weiner is a television giant.

Hooray for the reinvention (or rediscovery) of Ted Danson on DAMAGES and especially HBO's BORED TO DEATH. Time for Alec Baldwin to take a backseat for awhile since he's wearing out his welcome. Danson rules the roost.

FX continues its winning streak with SONS OF ANARCHY (THE SOPRANOS on bikes) and the continually bad craziness of NIP/TUCK. As for SONS, I vote Ron Perlman and Katey Sagal as couple of the year.

Speaking of Baldwin, is 30 ROCK the most overrated sitcom on broadcast TV? Truth to be told, I have never been a regular, but for the most part, the only positive reaction I've had watching this show is the occasional smirk. While I give Tina Fey all the credit in the world for putting this show together, I still find her to be a limited comedic actress. And Tracy Morgan is a one trick pony that needs to go to the glue factory. He was one of the worst members of SNL in his time on the show and now hangs on like a cold that won't go away. As for Alec Baldwin, I say again, take a break.

Speaking of overrated, is CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM the most overrated show on cable?

CURB had 2 out of the 12 episodes that I felt were worthy-DENISE HANDICAP and THE BARE MIDRIFF. The others, including the much-hyped SEINFELD reunion seem to coast along on its reputation, like Larry David himself. Most of the time, I feel like he's saying "Eh. That's good enough." Other times, he tries too hard and the strain is really beginning to show. However, I do give he and Michael Richards a round of applause for having balls o'plenty to confront Richards' racist rant a few years back. Overall, my enthusiasm for this show has been curbed to the point of abandoning the vehicle altogether.

On the reality front, I've finally watched TOP CHEF and even though the food is more interesting here, it's really no different than Food Network's NEXT IRON CHEF. (By the way, someone needs to take a swing at Alton Brown) On the other hand, host Padma Lakshmi is the world's most beautiful dullard. My God, what a boring woman...and she was married to Salman Rushdie. Even he got fed up with her dial-tone voice and endless posturing."Please! Put me back on the fatwa! I beg of you! She's boring me to horrors!" Salman probably pleaded. To which I can only add, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ................................

Again, I have to add that most of my viewing habits lay in cable programming with the miracle of on-demand options thrown in for good measure.. While others have some sort of DVR or choose to catch shows on the Internet or renting DVD of shows, how the hell are the networks or broadcast television going to survive? The answer is: They're not. Free TV is going the way of all flesh. This year's mandatory conversion to digital was pretty much the first nail in the coffin.

Next on the hit list: the Nielsen ratings, a mercy killing in my book.

Mark my words, o' true believers.

Excelsior! (or some other packing material)

2008 is Enough-Part One

Watching the ball drop in Times Square to signal in the New Year has always been a surreal experience for a West Coast kid like myself. If you turn on CNN at 9 pm PST, you can view it in "real time", realizing that you're already behind three hours, still stuck in the old year while the rest of the world has moved ahead. Or you can wait until midnight and watch the same damn thing, deluding yourself that you are living in the now when everyone in New York has already gone home.

Of course what kind of a dork marks the passage of time by watching television? Speaking! At least I recognize the stupidity of it all, even if I've done nothing to cure it. What's next for me? The video Yule Log? Yes, I am a sad sorry individual who is not worthy of your pity.

So 2008's gone and not a moment too soon. The lows outnumbered the highs for the year, but at least the highs were substantial enough to not want us all to drink a gallon of poison Kool-Aid and check out out Jim Jones style. There is something to be said for the glimmer of hope that still exists. Let's hope we don't end up at the absolute bottom before we can climb back up again. We don't all require 12 step programs, though there are those who really need a dozen more just for drill.

My bright spot was RED ASPHALT-plain and simple. My first novel was published, reviewed favorably and even gave me a chance to what I like to refer to as "living the dream", albeit in a minor key. Still in all, I can cross this off the bucket list. I can also cross off using the term 'bucket list". For more info, including a swell story about the worst night I ever spent on the road, check out http://redasphaltbook.blogspot.com/ .

Speaking of the aforementioned bucket, it sure got kicked a lot this year. It sure seemed like we had to say goodbye to far too many people than usual. On the pop culture front, we lost great folks like Paul Newman, George Carlin, Bernie Mac, Eartha Kitt, Sydney Pollack and Issac Hayes, just to name a few.

There were other sad goodbyes as well.

Radio's The Don and Mike Show came to a close when Don Geronimo left the airwaves, leaving a gap that will never be filled again. While Don's partner, Mike O'Meara, has continued with much of the same cast, his show pales in comparison, pretty much the equivalent of AFTERMASH. Don Geronimo was a master broadcaster and his seamless work on air made The Don and Mike Show classic radio day in and day out. He is sorely missed.

THE WIRE, one of the finest TV shows ever, ended its five year run with a damn good wrap-up, maybe not as excellent as seasons past but at least providing closure for watchers of that fine show. (Talk about schooling David Chase) The best moment of the year had to be the opening few minutes of the next to the last episode when Baltimore's mayor is let in on the hoax perpetrated by Detective McNulty. Hilarious and absolutely unforgettable.

MAD MEN continued to dominate the rest of the TV year with another brilliant series of episodes. The question remains: Will it continue? At this writing, creative driving force Matthew Weiner is in the midst of contact negotiations with AMC. to continue without him would be the first bad move of 2009.

As a whole, television in 2008 was pretty much like the year itself-bright spots amid the muck and the mire. Sounds like another sequel to THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS.

The movies were alive and well, even after the writer's strike early on that kicked broadcast TV in the balls and left the film industry dangling on what seemed like the gallows. But, at least the latter rebounded to make it out of 2008 without too much damage.

My favorite pic picks of the last year....

TO BE CONTINUED

In the Summertime

IN THE SUMMERTIME

Anybody remember this sweet little ditty from 1970?

Ah, yes...those were the days, my friend.

And what is this year's summer song?

I KISSED A GIRL (AND I LIKED IT) by Katy Perry

Yes, nothing says summer like bi-curiosity. It's nothing new. Anybody remember the 1980's menage-a-trois epic SUMMER LOVERS with Peter Gallagher, Daryl Hannah and some French little whore d'orveurvre? Anybody? Bueller?

Ahhh...what would Mungo Jerry say back in the innocent days of 1970?

"In the summertime,
When the weather is hot,
You can stretch right up and touch the sky.

When the weather's right,

You got women, you got women on your mind.

Have a drink, have a drive,

Go out and see what you can find."

Drinking and driving was really big back then. And even then, they had women on their minds.
The more things change, the more they remain the same.

Summer 2008. So far, so good, if'n ya asked me. Sure, the economy's in the dumper and most of us are trying to compensate by having STAYCATIONS (excuse me...I just retched...) instead of burning a buncha liquid gold in our gas tanks. Here's a local Oregon observation: If we can't pump our gas anyway, shouldn't stations feel obligated to require their attendants clean our goddamn windshields out of a gesture of goodwill? It's not like anyone actually check your oil or tire pressure as it is? I'm just sayin'...) Anyway, I feel extremely fortunate to live here since their is so much to do on a weekly basis during the summer months...weather permitting, of course. (And I type this on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Where the hell are MY priorities?)

I am proud to announce that LARUE'S RETURN, the melodrama written by Edward Thorpe and myself, was the summer attraction at the Golden Chain Theatre in Oakhurst, California. The spirit of Pollardville lives on!

IRON MAN, the first hit of the summer movie season, was a nice, unexpected surprise, especially to non-superhero afficionados. However, it would not have worked half as well without Robert Downey Jr. in a sta-making performance twenty years in the making. While the rest of the film was entertaining, I would have almost watched him making his suit for two hours. Nice job, Mr. Downey and I apologize for all the shitty things I've said about you over the years. You, sir, gave the best performance of a comicbook hero ever.

Another recommendation is SON OF RAMBOW, a nice little Brit pic by Garth Jennings about a couple of kids making their own sequel to FIRST BLOOD. Funny, always inventive and a must-see for anyone who ever made their backyard movies. I'd put this on a double bill with STAND BY ME. It will be released to DVD in August.

I haven't seen THE DARK KNIGHT and probably won't for some time, thanks to the overabundance of hype surrounding it. Nothing could live up to this. I prefer for the throngs to die down and collect themselves before I forge ahead. In other words, shut up already! I'm glad this era finally a picture to call its own, but Lord have mercy, get outta my face. All I'm going to say is to not denigrate Tim Burton's BATMAN any further. It stands on its own, just as Richard Donner's SUPERMAN THE MOVIE does. I hate revisionist history. Burton's film does not suck in retrospect or any other spect for that matter...and as far as Jack Nicholson's Joker goes, it fit perfectly, especially in due of what we had before that....which was Cesar Fucking Romero! Not to mention the goddamn TV show itself. ZAP! POW! I loved it back then, but I didn't crap all over it when it evolved into the Tim Burton movies. Life is a staircase. In other words, don't take a dump on history, kids. You'll never who you are unless you know where you've been.

I caught the touring company of AVENUE Q, aka the R-rated SESAME STREET stage musical, and have to declare it one damn funny show. It was amazing to sit through a Saturday matinee of this and watch the blue-hairs storm out of the theater after all the hot puppet sex action. Yee-ha!

The Emmy nominations have been announced. MAD MEN is honored with a ton o' nominations. Bryan Cranston, my boy from BREAKING BAD is also up. But as for THE WIRE? One single solitary writing nod. What a crime. One of the best shows of all gets zippity-do-dah from its peers. But you know what? The Emmys don't matter. They mean nothing. It does nothing for any show's ratings and has no value at all, unlike the Oscars boosting the box office of winning films. The Emmys are nothing more than one big circle jerk.

So there you have it, gang. The half-way point of Summer 2008. I think I'll go out, have a drink and have a drive. Maybe I'll even kiss a girl and like it.

So Long, Summer

As far as I was concerned, this last summer, with a few exceptions, was pretty much of a wash-out. Without the last push in August, this last season might as well have not existed at all. Maybe it's just me. I do feel I've been spinning my wheels for the last little while, but then again, I've been in the midst of finishing not one,but two major projects that I am way too anxious to release to the world. I'm also still reeling with the loss of my dear friend Goldie. Her granddaughter just sent me some pictures that Goldie had in her possession that I've never seen. The photos contained some fine shots of a much skinnier version of myself than I remember being, as well as a couple of shots with curly hair (!!!!!!!!!!) and a lovely shot in a cap, looking like Hank Hill's drinking buddy Dale without his aviator shades. Nice. Just call me Cooter.

Then there a few from that fabled Labor Day weekend that I mentioned in a previous post. I'm so grateful Stacey sent these to me and if you're reading this, kiddo, thanks again.

Still in all, I've been pretty bored and a bit disheartened. I stayed away from the cinema this year, only because there was nothing that lured me in their general direction (Paprika and Day Watch not withstanding). I din't want to see the threepeats or anything else for that matter. I have a fleeting interest in Ratatouille and The Simpsons, but honestly, what's the rush?

Even TV this summer, the best time to watch in the last few years, has been rather blah. The Sopranos finale kind of put the kibosh on things initially, but other favorite series have been floundering as of late. Big Love, always highly watchable, was all over the map this season, trying just a little too hard. Rescue Me has gotten tired as well, as has Entourage, which I begrudgingly enjoy (except Kevin Connelly as "E", the Cynthia Nixon of the group).

But I did get a bang out of Jekyll on BBC America, a re-do of you know who and Mr. Hyde. The show had a lot of problems but the performance of James Nesbitt (from Paul Greengrass' Bloody Sunday) as the title character is abosolutely the best of the year. His Hyde stands alongside the stellar ranks of Frederic March and Jack Palance as one of the finest portrayals of Stevenson's character ever. Don't have BBC America? Check it out On demand like I did. Don't have that? Well, you're screwed then, aren't you?

I join the critical concensus on AMC's new series, Mad Men, the early sixties period piece revolving around the world of advertising. Damn well-written and subtle in a way that is unlike anything on American TV, this show is a sensational recreation of a time that has gotten short-shrift in our history and is great fodder for excellent drama. They do go overboard on the smoking and drinking. I halfway expected to see little kids firing up butts and plying themselves with martinis in a recent birthday party episode. Regardless of this quibble, Mad Men is well worth checking out.

Thanks to my friend Bob Gossett who generously treated my wife and I, we were fortunate enough to catch Monty Python's Spamalot on its run-through Portland. Fortunately, this was the Broadway touring company, so that the production values were higher than most, right down to the Terry Gilliam uinspired set-pieces and special effects. Spamalot is Monty Python kind of dumbed down for the masses, a virtual stage adaptation of The Holy Grail with new material, most of it just as hilarious as its source. Sure, it panders a bit here and there, first to the Python fan who applauds every greatest hit, then cuts to the cheap laugh for the uninitiated, but finallySpamalot becomes a glorious celebration of one of the finest comedy acts of all time.

Thanks, Bob. You rescued summer.

Remember, always look on the bright side of life.